


Keep You Warm

by Trashkru



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 16:42:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6761989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashkru/pseuds/Trashkru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Homeless high school student Lexa Woods attempts to go by as unnoticed as possible. One day her and popular girl Clarke get paired up for a history project. Clarke has noticed Lexa before and even developed a little crush, though she won't admit it. And of course Lexa knows of queen Clarke. But they have never spoken. Not til now. And as they get closer, they try not to fall for each other. And their worlds will never be the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Lexa. Thursday, November 3, 2016.**

I wake up to my watch blaring its shrill dinging noise. I look at it, it's 6:30 AM. I groan, shut it off, and roll over. The smell of wet grass and plastic fill my nose as I inhale deeply. I open my eyes and try to get my enormous coat to cover more of me. It takes me a minute to realize I have not fallen asleep in my usual spot. Because of the rain last night I decided to crash at the playground inside one of the plastic tube things that kids play in, to keep dry. I have to get up. School starts at 7:30 and I am farther away than I usually am. Must get to school on time.

My backpack is under my head, like a pillow. I exhale and fog comes out of my mouth, it got colder because of the rain. I sit up and start digging through my backpack for my beanie and gloves. I find them and put them on my freezing body. Must start wearing more layers. I crawl out of the yellow plastic tube and start walking towards the nearest gas station. I have $10 in my backpack and I don't intend to use it to buy my breakfast. After several minutes of walking I see an old, worn out gas station. Perfect. I walk in and examine my surroundings quickly. There is only one person here. An old man behind the counter who has nodded off. No cameras either. It's like they want me to not pay. I quietly walk through the store to grab a few items. To my surprise they have quite a selection of food. I grab a bag of powdered donuts, a couple pre-made sandwiches, a few bags of chips, some sodas and 2 small bottles of milk. I put them into my backpack carefully, and I sneak into the backroom because opportunities like this don't happen very often. I know how places like this work. They keep all the good stuff in the back so the employees can steal a few of the non-stale sandwiches or whatever. I check my watch; 6:45, gotta hurry. I roam around the small back area going through boxes and drawers quickly. I open a big drawer to a small desk and Jackpot. I've found the liquor stash. This must be where they drink away their sorrows. I take a bottle of Vodka and a bottle of Tequila. I glance around the room quickly and decide to take a package of pads because I never know when I'll need it. I walk back and slowly open the door to exit. The old man is still asleep. Got to get ready for school. I go to the bathroom and set my backpack down on the floor with a small thud. It's never been this full before, it's gonna be heavy. I dig out the little Ziploc bag that has all my little "Hygiene Products" and set it on the rusted bathroom sink. This place smells like mold and sadness. I look in the mirror at myself. My hair's a mess, usually it's tame even if I don't brush it. I blame the weather. I grab my toothbrush out of my little bag and start getting ready.

I have successfully mastered getting ready in 10 minutes or less. It's probably because I don't do much to get ready. My routine is simple: brush teeth, wash face, brush hair (sometimes), change shirts, apply deodorant, change socks and underwear, and every few day change jeans. Simple. I look back at myself in the mirror. I look clean, but tired. I should probably get more sleep. It's hard to do though when you're not sure where you're sleeping every night. Only a year and a half left of high school, and then I'm free. Well, technically I'm already free, but whatever. I kneel down to my backpack and start adjusting stuff so it all fits better. I exit the bathroom and head towards the main exit. Old Man is still asleep. I grab a pack of gum on my way out. As I'm leaving the gas station, a blonde girl gets out of a dark blue car. The girl turns around and looks at me. A blonde-haired and blue-eyed beauty looks up at me. She smiles and I nod and smile back. No words, just smiles. She enters the gas station and I start down the road towards Arkadia High. I glance behind me and she is looking at something on a shelf. Clarke Griffin. One of the most popular girls in school. Her and her 2 best friends, Octavia Blake and Raven Reyes. I call them The Trinity. They basically rule the school, but not in a bitchy way. They all seem nice enough, but I've never spoken to them. I prefer to remain under the radar, makes life easier. As I walk, I grab the bag of powdered donuts from my backpack and start walking and eating. What day is it? Thursday? Haven't eaten since Monday afternoon. This sugary piece of bread tastes like a 5-star meal. I glance at my watch; 7:06.

I make it to school with only a few minutes to spare. I walk into my class: 1st period physics. I think it should be made law that classes that require you to actually think and do work, should not be allowed as the first class of the day. The only person who likes this class is Raven Reyes, one of the Trinity members. Ever since I've been here, she's always seemed to like science. All science, even the really hard sciences. Me, I'm not that good at science. I can understand enough to pass the test, but all information leaves my head after tests. I take my seat at the back of the class and lay my head on the desk. I listen to the conversations around me. It's all just the usual gossip: this person slept with this person, this person tried to sleep with this person and got himself slapped, party this weekend, and blah blah blah, boring boring boring. I start counting in my head. There's no point, no reason, I just like doing it. Start with 1, and keep going.

The bell rings and I lift my head up, examining the room. The teacher starts with the lesson and I zone out. I am awakened from my haze when the bell rings, dismissing the class. Shit. I didn't pay attention to anything she just said. Gotta stop getting stuck in my head. Next class is 2nd period English. The teacher's out today, so I ask the sub if I can go to the library. The subs aren't actually allowed to let anyone leave except to go to the bathroom, but I have my ways. The routine is simple; say ma'am or sir, excuse me, please, thank you, smile innocently, and act feeble. It works 88% of the time. And it does this time to.

I grab my stuff as she writes me a pass. I grab the pass, smile sweetly, and say "Thank you ma'am." and walk out of the classroom. I have no intention of going to the library. Not right now at least. I walk carefree through the halls to my locker. I didn't get a chance to put any stuff in it this morning because I was running a little late. I put all the food I acquired this morning in my locker and a few other miscellaneous items in there to. I carefully take out the alcohol and wrap each bottle in a piece of clothing and place it in the back of my locker, and then throw a t-shirt over all the bottle so it just looks like my locker's a mess. They don't do locker searches very often, and usually it's only of kids under some sort of suspicion and I'm, for the most part, invisible. But I'm not willing to risk some kid glancing my way as they're passing by ad catching a glimpse of vodka, and then telling a teacher or another student.

I close my locker and glance down the hallway. Oh shit. Clarke is watching me. How long has she been standing there? Did she see the alcohol? If she did would she tell? Before I can ask her anything she smirks and winks at me. She then makes the gesture over her mouth saying her lips are sealed. Yeah, she definitely saw my juice. I don't think she'll tell though. She turns and heads in the opposite direction, still smirking. Second time today she's smiled at me and it's only 8:45.

I walk to the cafeteria to try and score some free food. There's one really nice lunch lady who'll give me food if I help her make it. I walk towards the behind-the-counter cafeteria door and peek my head in to see who's inside. I smile when I see the familiar face. I approach her with a smile, genuine, not fake like I used on the sub. "Hey Ms. Kane. Any chance you'll let me work for some food today?" Ms. Kane, the mother of Marcus Kane, my history teacher, smiled at me and nodded towards the gloves next to her. "It's been a few days Lexa, you doing OK?" She asked with concern. She doesn't work everyday and even when she does work she doesn't always see me. I nod as I try to get these gloves on. "I get by." She shook her head solemnly at my response. She's the only one at this school who knows I'm homeless. She promised not to tell anyone. If she did, the school would call social services. Even though I'm almost 17 years old, I'm still a minor, and the government can, and probably will, take me away if they find out I'm on my own. She hands me the dough they use to make rolls and tells me to separate the pieces of the about-to-bread. "You know, if you would just let me tell my son, he could try to get you sorted out." She says to me. I look at her and try to control the terror in my eyes, but I think she sees it anyway because she drops the subject and asks me how I'm doing in school. I sigh in relief at the topic change. "Oh you know, the usual. Some classes can be really hard, but I always pass. I've somehow managed to get all A's at the moment. So that's good." She laughs. "I told you, you're a genius." I playfully roll my eyes at the statement. "You're a funny woman you know."

We spend the rest of the class period making lunch and talking. When there's only a few minutes left until the bell rings she makes me clean up while she puts some food in a bag for me. I turn around and see a large bag filled with some of the food being served today and some food they served at breakfast this morning. It's a lot of food. "Whoa. Ms. Kane, that's too much food. You can't-" She raises her hand and cuts me off. "You said that before this morning you hadn't eaten since Monday. You helped me make some of this food, so you deserve to eat some of it." I know it's pointless to argue, and I don't want to either. I smile gratefully, take the food, and put it in my backpack that's by the door. I look at my watch; 2 minutes until the bell rings. "Thank you, Ms. Kane. I should head out, I got your son next period." I would hug her, but I'm not very touchy-feely. I think she knows this though, and she just smiles and waves goodbye as I turn around and head for the door.

I walk out of the cafeteria back room. As I turn the corner I run into a short brunette girl, who's looking down and fiddling with something metal. Both of us were caught off guard, and normally I'm like a wall but I'm weaker because of my lack of food intake, so both of us fell to the ground. Not very hard, but enough so it hurt a little. I felt guilty even though both of us weren't looking, so I start apologizing as both of us are on the ground. "Oh god, I'm sorry." We are both sitting up and she just kind of looks at me for a second, and then bursts out laughing. It's an infectious uncontrollable laughter, and I can't help but join in. We stop a few seconds before the bell rings. The bell dismissing 2nd period rings and I stand up. I reach my hand out to help her up and she thanks me. "Sorry, by the way. I wasn't looking. Usually the halls are empty during class, so I didn't really think about not paying attention." She says to me. "It's fine. I wasn't looking either. I hope you didn't break your, um, thing." I reply, pointing to the small metal contraption in her hands. "Oh this? Nah, it was already broken. I'm trying to fix it. I'm Raven by the way, Raven Reyes." She says smiling. Yeah, I know. You're apart of the Trinity that rules the school. "I'm Lexa Woods." I reply, returning her smile. "I should get to class, Mr. Kane hates tardies. See you around." I say with a smile. She seems nice. She says bye and gives a little wave. I look at my watch; less than 3 minutes to get to class, and it's on the opposite end of the school. Gotta run.

I make it to class with seconds to spare. 3rd period US History. I'm all for history, and learning about the past, but I hate school history. Most of the time I don't find the information interesting or useful. I like Mr. Kane though, he's a good teacher, I just don't like what he has to teach. I walk into the classroom, and the desks are put in pairs. This can only mean one thing; partner project. I don't really have friends, just casual acquaintances, and none of them are in this class. I glance around the classroom and see an empty pair of desks in the back; perfect. As I turn to sit, I see Clarke looking at me. The second I notice her though, she looks away towards the front. Weird. The bell rings and Mr. Kane walks in and closes the door behind him. He smiles warmly at us. "Hello. I assume you all know that we're doing a project. However, I have already picked your partners because I can." Thank god. I didn't want to have to do another project alone. I work perfectly fine alone. I just already have 2 other projects to work on alone, and I don't need another one that I have to do all by myself. He goes to his computer and pulls the names up on the projector. I search for my name. Before I find it, a blonde figure appears before me. I look at her, and then look back at the screen. I find my name. Next to it is the name Clarke Griffin.

I look up at her. I've never seen her up close before. She's gorgeous. Her blonde hair looks extremely soft, and her eyes are so very blue. She smiles at me and I smile back. Now what? I'm bad at conversations. She talks first. "Hi. I'm Clarke." I like her voice. "Hi, I'm Lexa." What do people normally say after that? I gotta start learning how to talk like a normal person. I'll start this time. "Do you wanna sit here, or..." I gesture around the room. She sits down next to me and says "Here's good." I don't say anything else. Mr. Kane will probably start explaining the project in a few seconds. Clarke does't speak either. I think she's thinking the same thing. After everyone is sitting down, he clears his throat to get our attention. Everybody gets quiet and waits for him to talk.

He begins giving out the instructions. "Alright, now that you've found your partners, let's get to it. This is your biggest grade of the semester. It will be over the course of a month, so I hope you like your partners. You will have one major grade and four daily grades over this project." I see various mouths drop open. "The major grade will be your project at the end, and the daily grades will be checkpoints. One daily grade over this every week over 4 weeks. Now as for the project; you will each be assigned an era in US history. You have to research anything and everything about this time period. You will create a poster board covering what you have found in your research. You must find a few things that represent that era, and it can be from that era. You also must have a research packet with all of what's in the presentation." He grabs a stack of papers from his desk. "Here's everything I just said and more, in paper form." He passes around the paper and goes to sit at his desk, but seems to remember something. "Oh! and you only get a few days in class to work on it, so you have to work on most of it at home." A month long project, ew. But at least I'm not doing it by myself. Clarke turns to me. "A month long project, yuck!" I smile, glad we're on the same page. "So do you wanna plan when to meet up and where?" I ask her. I gotta sneak in that we can't do it at my house without telling her I don't have one. "Sure. Are there any days or times or whatever, that you can't do?" I act like I'm thinking for a moment. "Nope. I'm usually free. I can do wherever, whenever." She seems pleased with this answer. As she's about to say something, Mr. Kane walks by to give us our time period. "Ooh let me think about this." He says to us. He puts his fingers up to his mouth and a light bulb seems to go off in his head. "I got it. Y'all will do the 20's. Well, you know the 20's era. So more like the late 10's to early 30's." We nod. Good. I like the 20's. Jazz music, wild parties, then the depression, Bonnie and Clyde, and all that. Very interesting.

Clarke seems pleased with our assignment as well. She turns to me with a grin. I like her smile. She starts talking about when we should meet up. "I can do today after school. I like to start early because I have a tendency to get distracted and procrastinate. Where do you wanna meet up?" I don't know. Someplace casual. It can't be some food place unless she's buying. I only have $10, I can't pay for food. Before I can figure out a suitable answer she suggests something. "We could go to Wendy's." Shit. I don't have better suggestion. I smile "Yeah, sounds good." I'll say I'm not hungry, or something like that. "We have 7th period together so we can just both ride in my car?" Oh thank god. She has a car. My legs are starting to get sore. She nods and flips her hair over her shoulder. It's not meant to be sexy, but oh damn it is. I don't know how I'll survive this next month. She's gorgeous, smart, and her voice is amazing.

Mr. Kane spends the rest of the class period answering questions about the project, and explaining it farther. I don't listen. I'm too consumed with Clarke. She seems to be paying attention, so I sneak glances at her every few minutes. I don't know what her perfume is, but it's intoxicating. Every once in awhile, thoughts of possibly getting caught living how I'm living, creep into my brain. They tell me that this is too risky. How am I gonna lie to a girl I'm working on a project with for a whole month. I'm an excellent liar, but I don't know if I can pull that off. I argue with myself. Maybe I don't have to lie to her. She seems really cool, maybe she won't tell. The other me voice retaliates. Her mother is the most respected surgeon in the state. Her dad is a brilliant engineer. They wouldn't want their daughter hanging around some homeless stranger. They would probably tell on me so that I'm not around their kid. They could think I'm a bad influence. Ugh. I don't know who to agree with. I'll just wing it; it's gotten me this far in life.

Mr. Kane talks until the bell rings. Clarke smiles a goodbye to me and walks to her next class. I go the opposite towards mine. Her smile makes me do the same. Wait, why? I contemplate this as I walk to my 4th period, Anatomy. It's not like I like her, not like that. Right? Even if I did nothing could happen. Like I said her parents would never let her go out with me, especially if they found out. She doesn't even like me anyway, so it doesn't matter one way or another if I like her or not. And I don't.

3 class periods and a lunch later, I walk into 7th period. I have gym and I actually really like having it as my last class. I can stay after and use the showers. The only other time I can shower, is if I walk to a rest stop. However, the closest one is about 10 miles away, and it's also a kinda gross one. The good one, is 17 miles away. I usually walk there on Friday and spend the weekend there. Anyway, I'm off topic. I'm pretty good at gym, always have been. I think it's because I walk everywhere so I've gained a bit of muscle. The gym teacher seems to like me. I think it's because I can hold my own against the jocks. I hold back a lot most of the time. They don't know that though.

I walk into the locker room and change into my gym clothes. I walk into the gym and see someone new talking to the gym teachers. She looks young, but old enough to be a teacher. I lean against the wall and observe the people around me. I see Clarke talking to Raven and Octavia, smiling, laughing. They look happy. I look around at other people, and I see the same thing. Everyone around seems happy, they are all talking and laughing and smiling. All these people have each other, it's nice. I don't mind being alone, I have been for years. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Clarke looking at me. Confused, I turn my head to look back at her. When she sees me turning my head, she looks down at the ground. I keep my eyes on her. A few seconds later she looks up and smiles warmly at me. I give a small smile in return.

The gym teacher, coach Lincoln, walks in front of us. We all start to go silent. What I've learned, in my several years of school, is that if the students like a teacher or sub, you can tell. Everyone loves coach Lincoln, so we listen to him and are quiet. He says good afternoon and proceeds to tell us that we are going to start a self-defense unit. He brings up the woman he was talking to earlier. "This is Ms. Anya. She is going to be helping me teach you how to defend yourselves. I know this is a pretty small town compared to the rest of the world, and we don't have very much crime, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't learn how to hold your own." We all know the real reason Ms. Anya is here to help with this unit; it's because she's a girl. The rules with teacher-student touching is very different when it comes to gym. The majority of us are in shorts and small t-shirts, and the coach is a built-like-a-wall man. The parents are all paranoid, but the students don't care. We all love coach Lincoln, and we know he would never do anything "inappropriate" with us. But the school people listen to the parents. So, we all know she's here because the parents don't like that a man would be teaching us something that might require him touching us.

Ms. Anya stands next to coach Lincoln. "Hi, you can just call me Anya. I'm not sure how long this unit will be, but I'll try to teach you as much as I can in the time we've got." She smiles at us. "We'll start on Monday. Today is just a questions day, and tomorrow I won't be here." With that we all gather closer and sit a few feet in front of her and ask her questions. I don't ask, I just listen. From what I gather about her, I like. She seems interesting.

The class is dismissed a few minutes early. We all go into the locker room to change into our normal clothes. I walk to my locker and take of my shirt. The gym has shit a/c so even though we didn't do anything, I still sweated through my t-shirt. I'm in basketball shorts and a black bra, trying to get my locker un-jammed. Suddenly I see a blonde figure in my peripheral vision. I look to my right and see Clarke staring at me. Are her eyes wandering? No, it's just in my mind. I yank hard on my locker door, and it finally opens.

I never feel uncomfortable showing off skin, but under Clarke's eyes, I feel vulnerable. I don't like it. I dig out my clothes and take off my shorts. I put on my actual clothes quickly, and look at Clarke. "I need to get some stuff out of my locker before we go." I feel awkward saying this. She gives a small smile and says "Of course." The bell rings. I grab my backpack and we walk out the door. We get to my locker and she leans against the one next to mine. She smiles mischievously. "Don't forget your alcohol." She whispers. The smile has turned into a smirk. My face feels hot. I grab the clothing covered alcohol and put it in my backpack. I grab a few other things and close my locker. We walk to her car in silence. It's not awkward, but it is odd. We get in the car. When she starts it, the radio starts blasting something I don't understand. She starts shaking her head and tapping her fingers on the steering wheel to the beat. I laugh. This is going to be a long month.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to elizasteele for helping me, and being patient with my lack of time-management skills. Also I swear that I'll try to update more often than this, especially now that school has ended. Hope y'all like the chapter.

**Lexa. Thursday, November 3, 2016.**

We pull into the Wendy's after a few minutes. I feel a little nervous still. I can't tell from what though. Is it because I've never had a conversation with her before? Is it because she saw me with the alcohol? Is it because I think she's kinda pretty, and I'm trying to deny this? Probably a combination of all of these. OK, I got this. I'll be fine, I always am.

We park and she gets out of the car, I follow suit. I stand up and look over at her. She is stretching. Her hands are together over her head, and she's on her tip-toes. She is beautiful and she knows it. Maybe she knows I think she's gorgeous, and is trying to torture me. I look down at my watch: 2:47. We walk into the Wendy's and get in line. She's standing close to me. Does she mean to? Maybe she doesn't want to step away and seem rude. The people in front of us move up. As we move up, I step a little farther from her. She gives no reaction. Question answer. Problem solved.

Oh no, I have to pretend I'm not hungry or something like that. I'm not spending the little money I have here. I break our silence. "I'm not very hungry, do you want me to grab a table while you're in line?" She looks at me. I can't read her expression. It's strange, usually I can read people very easily. Clarke however, is difficult to decipher. I don't like this. I like being able to tell what people are thinking, it makes life easier. She finally speaks. She gives a small smile, nods, and says, "OK." I go and find us a table. It's not very busy, but there are a few people here. I pick a booth in the back. This way we have space, and we can't hear other people talking.

I lean against the wall and start counting. I zone out until I hear someone walking over to the table. I look up and see Clarke with 2 sodas in her hands, and the food bag hanging from her mouth, being held by her teeth. I quickly lean over and try to help by taking the bag from her lips. She makes a noise of disgust; I don't think the food bag tasted very good.

"Clarke, why do you have 2 sodas?" I look in the bag quickly. "And 2 things of fries?"

She gives me a look. It's a look like she knows everything. But she can't know anything, can she? The only person who knows is Ms. Kane, and like a few other kids I've met on the street. She finally responds. "I figured you would at least want something to drink, and maybe you just didn't have any money to spend or something. And I saw a coca-cola bottle in your backpack, so I got you that. I also got you fries, because everyone loves fries." She shrugs. I don't know how to respond. My mouth is open, but nothing is coming out. She notices, and continues. "They're only a few bucks, and my momma always said: 'If you can't buy someone some fries and a coke, what kind of human are you?'" She says with a fake southern accent.

I laugh and say, "Thank you. That's good advice. Your momma's wise." I joke as I get one of the things of fries.

She sits across from me and grabs her burger from the bag. She unwraps it and greedily takes a bite. As her teeth sink into the burger, she gives a small moan of satisfaction. I raise an eyebrow. "Ya hungry?" I say with a small laugh. She just shrugs, swallows, and says, "I'm hungry." I laugh and start eating my fries. She seems funny. And not afraid to eat. I find that these are very good qualities in a human. She demolishes all her food. She somehow manages to look graceful and gorgeous, while also eating like she hasn't ever tasted food before. I eat kinda slow, taking sips of Coke after every few fries. But we finish around the same time.

I grab both of our trash and put it in the trash can. I come back to see her mumbling at her phone. When she sees me she puts her phone away and smiles, but the smile is tighter than usual. We aren't really friends or anything so I'm not gonna ask. Instead I bring up the project. "So, the 1920's. I always liked the 20's, they seemed interesting, and fun." She nods in what I assume is agreement. She seems distracted. Should I ask her what's wrong? I don't want to overstep and make her uncomfortable. I'll be timid. That usually works. "Um, I don't mean to pry, but- um, are you OK? You seem, I don't know..." I say softly, and without any confidence. I find that people are less likely to get angry at you when you seem weak. She gives the smallest smile and runs her hand through her long hair. "No- yeah, it's just- My friends, Octavia and Raven, are being stupid. They're arguing about something, and apparently I'm the middle-man. I have to try and fix it before they kill each other or break-up."

I nod. "I get it. Well, kinda. I'm usually the problem-solver too." I start drinking my Coke out of nervousness. The damn nervous feelings are back again and I don't like them.

She still looks off. Maybe I should continue? Or should I stop because it didn't help the first time I asked questions? Sometimes I really hate that I over-think everything. I'll ask again. "What are they arguing about? Maybe I could help, I'm pretty good at fixing problems, usually." She bites her lip. I think she's deciding whether or not to tell me. Her internal argument seems to cease and she speaks.

"OK, so Octavia and Raven are an item. They finally admitted their feelings for each other after years of hiding them,and they've been together for about half a year now. So Raven is jealous and thinks that Octavia has a crush on coach Lincoln. Octavia is angry because she thinks Raven's being hypocritical because Raven is a big flirt, even though she's usually just joking. And here I am, stuck in the middle, not sure how to fix it. So, any solutions O Great Problem Solver?" I laugh at the name she calls me, and try to think. "I'm not sure. Does Octavia actually _have_ a crush on coach Lincoln? Has she said something?" I ask. "No, she doesn't have a crush on him. But, she has called him hot. In front of Raven."

I nod. "Ah. Well, I don't have any solutions that I can give other than the obvious: they just need to talk to each other. You can't have a relationship if, when you disagree, you just scream at each other, instead of hearing the other persons side of the story. That's just what I think though." After I finish giving my 'solution', she looks at me with a puzzled expression. "What?" I ask. "My advice too lame?"

She smiles and shakes her head. "It's actually pretty good, and I agree with it. How I'll get them to listen to it though, that's the other problem." "Well that, I _can't_ help you with. I have a feeling though, that they'll listen to you. You're their healer." I get more puzzled looks after this statement. Maybe I shouldn't have asked in the first place.

After discussing Octavia and Raven's relationship some more, we decide we should probably work on our project at least a little. "So, what happened in the 1920's" Clarke asks me.

"Well, you know, the usual: a world war had just ended, jazz music was the shit, baby boomers, and the great depression."

She nods. "Great! We got some work done."I laugh at her want to not be working. "When do you want to meet up to _actually_ work on this project?"

Ooh, tough question. Just be vague. "It doesn't matter to me, I'm almost always free." 

"Do you wanna do tomorrow? Maybe go to the library, or one of our houses?"

I cringe internally. "I can do tomorrow, but not my house. My family's not that big on having people over." She just rolls with it, thank god. 

After a while of talking about Octavia and Raven, or Octaven, as Clarke put it, Clarke starts asking me questions about me. She says, "I'm not a huge fan of history. I think it's important and all, I just don't like it. What about you?"

Interesting. It's subtle, but it's a question for me. I figured we'd get to know each other a little since we're working together for a month, but I figured it'd be all awkward at first. I thought it'd be mostly business at first, but no, it feels natural to be working together. Weird. "I like history, just not at school. They teach us boring stuff in a boring way. I like Mr. Kane, just not his class." I answer.

She nods in agreement. I decide to ask a small question to even things out. "What's your favorite class?"

After a second she responds. "Art."

"Ooh, your an artist. Personally, I can't draw to save my life, but I always wished I could. What kind of artist?"

She smiles at my response. "I'm mostly a drawer, but I can paint, and sculpt and all that jazz. Not the greatest at sculpture, but it's fun. What about you? What's your favorite class?"

I have to think about this for a moment. "Probably Anatomy. I know it seems weird, but I like it. I like knowing how everything works, and why things happen, especially in the body."

She looks slightly puzzled. Oh god, now she thinks I'm a freak. Instead of making a disgusted, or weirded out comment, she asks, "Why the body? I mean, Why especially the body?"

The feeling of relief spreads through me. "Well, the body is me, it's everybody. What better thing to know how it works, than the thing you live in everyday."

She has a hint of a smile on her face. I don't think she knows how to respond. "Makes sense." Is all she says.

After a little bit of these little personal questions, Clarke catches me off guard. "So, I don't mean to pry, well I guess I kinda do, whatever. Anyways, what's with the liquor? I saw you with it this morning. I get the whole drinking thing, cause everyone does it, but it's kinda risky bringing 2 somewhat large bottles of alcohol to school."

She has a good point. A normal teenager would hide it in their bedroom. Me, I don't have a bedroom. I do have a hiding place where I stash some stuff in the woods, but it's by the good rest stop that's 17 miles away. How do I lie about this? I'm very good at lying, but she makes it so difficult. She seems so accepting, and her questions make it very hard to be vague, or lie. Maybe a joke? "What can I say? I'm a rebel." I say this with a grin and try for laughter in my eyes. She laughs, but I'm not sure that she's convinced. Not that there's much I can do to convince her at the moment.

"Any chance you wanna share?" She says with a devious look in her eyes. How do I respond to that? She laughs. "Not today. It's Thursday and I have to drive. Soon though?" I just nod. How can I say no?

After a little while longer we decide to leave. I get in the car and put in my seat-belt. Clarke does the same. She starts the car and asks, "So where do you live?"

Oh shit. Shitty shit shit. I didn't think this far ahead. How could I be so stupid? She drove me here, of course she would drive me home. Why didn't I think about this earlier? "Um," I say, my voice giving away my nerves. She looks at me expectantly. To other people this question is one of the easiest questions on earth. She probably thinks I'm- Oh I don't even know, stupid? Insane? Something like that. "I actually have to go somewhere before I go home." I say, winging it to the best of my abilities. "It's not very far." She doesn't believe me, I can tell. I see it in her eyes, she knows I'm lying.

"That's fine, where do you have to go?" She says instead of calling me out. Maybe I was wrong? I'm usually right about these things though.

The next problem: A place for her to take me. Where could I go where she'd believe me? The mall? The laundromat? She's still looking at me with that confused expression. "Um, I have to meet someone at the mall." I say, unsure of myself. How could I be so stupid? I should have thought this through more carefully. I always think things through; I'm an over thinker. I over analyze like every single thing I do. She nods and puts the car in reverse.

I decide to try and get her to think about things that have nothing to do with me. "So, you doing anything interesting this weekend?" I ask. I feel like I sound nervous. She doesn't seem to notice though.

"Oh, you know, nothing _really_ interesting. I was just gonna work on this piece for Art, and watch a little TV. What about you? Anything wild planned?" She asks with a grin. I'm spending this weekend at the good rest stop. We have a 3-day weekend for some reason, which means I get to stay there an extra day. I lie to Clarke though. "Just read, watch movies, the usual stuff." Actually that's not a total lie.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, we pull into the mall parking-lot. She pulls up to the entrance by the food court to let me out. she smiles and says, "Bye Lexa! See you tomorrow." I smile in return and say, "Bye." and get out of the car. I walk into the mall as she drives away. I look at my watch: 4:24. I decide to wander around the heated building. It's not extremely cold outside, but I would rather be inside, than out.

I wander around for a few minutes before deciding to look at some of the stores outside the actual mall. I walk outside to where there are about a dozen other individual stores and stuff. The first store I see is a book store. I'm tempted to walk in, but I don't feel like stealing a book. Something always felt weird to me about stealing books. I love books, and I do steal them, but it always feels off. I continue down the sidewalk until I see something familiar in one buildings window. I look in the window more closely and see the woman from gym class today, Anya. She is in workout clothes and is destroying this weird dummy thing with a staff. She's spinning, twirling, yelling, hitting. If that dummy were a real person, it'd be dead by now. I watch in awe. She stops for a moment and looks towards the window, towards me. She smiles and gives a small wave. Me, not sure how to respond, wave back. Before anything else happens I turn and keep walking down the sidewalk. I look at my watch; 4:53. I'll go find a place to sleep for the night.

I try to get to my sleeping spot by at least 9:00. I've got 4 hours to find one. Plenty of time. I walk across the street and feel a drop of water land on my head. Oh no, not again. I guess I'm sleeping in the same playground tube as last night. The park is about an hour and a half away, walking time. I button up my coat, and continue the walk as it starts drizzling. Great. I don't mind the rain, really. What I mind is the cold that comes with it. I can handle the cold, I just _really_ don't like it.

As I continue walking the rain starts to come down harder. My hair is already wet so I don't bother putting my hood on. As I'm waiting to cross the street, I feel someone tap my shoulder. Surprised, I turn around and see Clarke under an umbrella. "Clarke." I breathe. She looks magnificent in the rain. There are a few droplets on her eyelashes, and some drops running down her cheek. The way her skin looks in the gloomy background, and the way her wet hair frames er face, takes my breath away.

"Lexa, why are you walking in the rain?"

I smile. "Funny, I was gonna ask you the same thing." She rolls her eyes playfully. "Wait,"I say. "Why _are_ you walking in the rain?" I ask.

She blushes slightly from what I think is embarrassment. "Well, funny story. I was running an errand for my mom. I go to the store to get something, and when I came back to my car I realized I did not have my keys. I looked inside and saw them mocking me from the front seat, where I left them." I laugh. She looks at me as I continue to laugh. eventually she smacks me in the arm and says, "It's not funny Lexa."

"Hey, you were the one who said it was a 'funny story'." She pouts a little and I finally stop laughing. "OK, OK. Where are you going? You can only walk so far."

"I'm going to the hospital, where my mom works. She won't be pleased, but I think she has an extra set of keys."

I'm fairly certain the hospital is 3 miles away. I can make that walk no problem. Clarke on the other hand; I'm sure she could do it, it would just take a while. "OK, I have a plan. Where's your car?" She looks at me with confusion, and like she's deciding whether or not to listen to me. Before she responds the rain suddenly starts pouring. She grabs my arm and pulls me under her umbrella next to her. I trip and end up with my face an inch away from hers. I swallow hard and stand up straight. She clears her throat and says, "This way." And points in the opposite direction.

We walk towards the parking lot where her car is. I try not to get _too_ close to her. I'm a big believer in personal space, especially if I don't know someone very well. Because of this half of my body is in the rain, getting soaking wet. Clarke notices. "Get over here, it's pouring!" She grabs my elbow and pulls me closer to her. I don't trip this time. That's what I call progress.

As we walk closer to the parking lot, Clarke suddenly says, "Why _were_ you walking in the rain. You never said."

"I was walking home, and then it started raining." I reply simply. "Didn't feel like stopping." She nods and looks like she wants to say something else but we get to her car. She has a kinda old dark blue Volkswagen beetle, this should be pretty easy.

Clarke walks up to it and looks at me. "So, what's your plan?" She asks me.

I don't know if she'll like this. "I'm gonna break into your car." I say matter-of-factly. She opens and closes her mouth, but no sound comes out. I'm going to take that as a "go for it". I start digging through my backpack. 

Finally she says, "How?" I find what I'm looking for. I smile and look up at her. "With this." I say pulling out a long wire from my backpack. "OK first, how much shit do you have in that backpack? Second, how are you gonna break into my car with a _wire_?"

I smirk. "My backpack is full of what I need. And How I'm gonna use this wire to save your ass? Well, watch and learn Clarke." She scoffs and rolls her eyes at me.

I wedge the door open enough so that I can get the wire in through the top of the drivers side door. I slide the wire in, and start pushing it further down. I get the bottom of the wire down to where the buttons are on the side of the door. I adjust it so that it's on top of the unlock button. I look back at Clarke who has a look of awe and confusion. I grin and then quickly push down hard on the wire. This pushes down on the button and we both hear the click of the door unlocking. I open the car door. Clarke grins and gives a celebratory squeal. "Oh my god Lexa! I don't know how you did that, but thank you so much!" She reaches up and gives me a hug. It catches me off guard. She has a tendency of doing this. She's very good at it. I guess should hug back? I'm not very good at this, but I _do_ want to hug her back. I hesitantly put my hands on her sides. The hug lasts probably a few seconds longer than normal, but she's probably just grateful.

The hug ends. I like it when she hugs me though. I feel colder without her. She smiles happily at me, still very close to me. "You're soaking wet." She says. When I was breaking into her car, she was standing back a little, with the umbrella. I look down at myself and see that I am dripping. Even though it had lightened a little, the rain was still coming down. I shrug. "Come on. You're coming to my house and drying off." Well, why not? I nod, and get in the car.

As we're driving to her house, she starts asking me questions. "When did you learn how to do that?"

This kind of question, is the kind I have fake answers already prepared for. "Oh, you know, Internet. I figured that if I ever got locked out of my _own_ car, it would be better to break in myself, than to have someone do it for me and then have to pay them a couple hundred bucks." She looks almost satisfied with this response. Almost.

"That makes sense. But why did you have a wire in your backpack?" Huh, wasn't prepared for that one.

I play it cool. I give a small laugh. "You ask too many questions, you know that. You ever leave anything to the imagination?"

She smiles slightly at me and shakes her head. "What can I say? I like knowing too much." Yeah well, me too.

We pull into a driveway several minutes later. The house seems large, but not too big. It seems nice. We get out of the car, and walk up to the front door. I start coughing a little, not enough for concern though. Clarke does not agree with this however. "Oh no, are you getting sick?" I shake my head. She doesn't believe me. "You can take a shower here."

"Really Clarke, I'm fine. It was just a cough." As she looks like she's starting to believe me, I sneeze. And then I sneeze again. What the hell? This is sudden and annoying and I don't like it. Maybe I should just accept the shower. Not that I really have a choice, it seems.

I finally accept the shower, and Clarke shows me the way. "How will your parents feel when they find a random girl in your shower?" I ask.

Clarke shrugs. "They won't care. Probably. Anyways, it doesn't matter. My dad's on a business trip, and my mom's working late at the hospital."

"Convenient." I reply with a half-smile. She shows me where everything is, then leaves the bathroom. I turn on the hot water and get in the shower and oh my god it feels glorious. I have not had a proper hot shower since god knows when. The showers at school have shit water pressure, and the water is almost always cold. The showers at the rest stops have better water pressure, but it only gets lukewarm. This shower, is amazing. It has great pressure, and it's literally steaming. I could stand under this forever. 

I emerge from the shower 20ish minutes later in dry, clean clothes. Since her house is relatively warm I only put on a t-shirt, and jeans. Not the many layers I started out with. I have never felt cleaner. I wander down to the living room and see Clarke laying down on the couch, scrolling through her phone. I look at my watch: 5:13. I walk to the couch and stand at the end. I've got that damn nervous feeling again. I clear my throat to get her attention. "Hey. Thanks for letting me shower. It may have just saved me from a killer cold." I joke, trying to ease that nervous feeling. It doesn't work. It actually gets worse when she smiles at me.

"No problem." There's a silence. Unlike the other ones, this one is awkward.

I break the silence. "I should, um, I should head home."

Clarke nods. "It's still sprinkling, do you want me to drive you? Or you could wait it out here for a little while?" She suggests. I can't have another "driving me 'home'" incident. What's the harm in staying her a little while longer?

After I tell Clarke that I would wait it out, I put my backpack by the door, and then sit on the couch. Now what? I feel like I've asked that question a lot today. "Wanna watch a movie?" Clarke asks me.

"Sounds good. What do ya got?" I reply. She walks over to a shelf where the movies live and waves me over to her. I walk over to see a pretty great collection of movies. She's got a bunch of the great old ones like Roman Holiday, and the amazing new ones like Mad Max Fury Road. "Pick one." She tells me. I decide on Rent. She seems impressed with my choice. She puts it in and we watch. We both sing along to most of the songs. We both feel sad when Angel died. We joked around a little. It's fun. Probably the most fun I've had in awhile.

Throughout the whole night I try my hardest not to just stare at Clarke. She's just so... I don't even have a word. Perfect? I feel like she's more than that though. I try my hardest to convince myself I don't have at crush. Obviously that isn't working out very well. I find myself losing control and staring at her every once in a while. During the middle of the movie, during one of the times I give in and look at her, I find her already looking at me. I feel my face grow warm under her stare. I can't read her face, I can't tell what she's thinking. I try to read her eyes, but I get distracted by how blue they are. I turn to look back at the movie. I see her do the same out of the corner of my eye.

During the movie, we both adjust in our seats many times. Somewhere along the way, we ended up sitting close to each other. There are still several inches between us, but we're close to one another. Towards the end of the movie, our legs are almost touching. Almost but not quite. I feel like there's tension in the air. Am I imagining it? Can she feel it too? I break our silence.

"Clarke, can I ask you something?"

She nods. "Of course, anything."

She smiles at me. God I love her smile. "Why are you so nice to me?" She looks at me with a completely confused expression. I try and clarify. "I'm kind of a nobody. Hell, I try my hardest to be a nobody. I put liquor in my locker and backpack. I'm ho-" I freeze. I almost told her. Shit, that was close. I fix my mistake. "I'm honestly kind of a weirdo, the school loner." I finish my piece and wait for her reaction

She smiles a sad smile. "Lexa, you think you're a nobody? The school freak or something? You think nobody has noticed you?" I shrug and mumble something incoherent, and look down at my hands. "I noticed you the second you moved here, in the 7th grade. I just never spoke to you. At first you just seemed kind of standoffish. You seemed like you wanted to be alone. So I just left you be. Then, as time went on I thought maybe you were sad, not standoffish. Then, later on, I realized that dumb, younger, 7th grade me thought you wanted to be alone, but nobody wants to be alone. Not even you. But I kept on not talking to you, for some reason. I don't know why. But anyway, I'm nice to you, because you deserve kindness. And just because you're kind of a loner, doesn't mean we can't be friends." Damn. that's not what I was expecting. Honestly, I don't even know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't that.

As she said those words, I could feel my tiny innocent crush, grow much larger. This is not good. I look up at her and see her giving me a warm smile, with nothing but kindness in her eyes. It gives me a warm feeling.

I start talking softly. "I am a very nervous person. I keep quiet and observe. I guess I kind of _was_ standoffish when I first came here. I was trying to figure out how to survive. Now I know how, and I don't have to be completely alone anymore." She grins. I smile back.

When the movie ends I decide to leave, even though I sorta don't want to. She walks me to the door. We're both laughing at something dumb. Her hand is on my arm. Her hand lights my skin on fire where it touches. We stop in front of the door. Her hands are closer to my wrists, but not quite there yet. She's standing so close to me, but I want her closer. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. Her hands slide down so that they are on mine. She starts playing with my hands.

"Your hands are cold." She says.

"Yours are warm." I reply. "I always have cold hands."

She smiles shyly. When did we stop laughing? When did the air start to feel so tense? When did she get this close to me? Up until a few minutes ago I was fairly certain that it was all in my head. That she didn't actually like me. Was I wrong? I must have been. I swallow hard. Who makes the first move? I haven't done this in a really long time. Clarke gets even closer to me. "Are you nervous?" She asks.

"Yeah, usually am." Might as well be honest. I reach out, and gently play with some of the blonde hair resting on her shoulder. She smiles slightly. She leans her head in towards mine slowly, like she's making sure this is what I want. It's sweet. I start leaning in too. I look from her eyes to her lips. Before I know it both our eyes are closed. Our lips meet. It's slow and it feels right. It feels like we were meant to do this. Her lips are soft. I move my hands so one hand is on her hip, and the other is still in her hair. She puts both her hands on my waist. I turn my head, brushing my nose against hers. I kiss her a little harder, but not much. We're both holding back, not wanting to make the other uncomfortable. We both pull away. We're both smiling.

Clarke is still standing very, very close to me. Her hands still on my waist. "That is definitely not what I thought was gonna happen today, when I woke up this morning." I say, breaking our silence.

Clarke gives a light laugh. "Me neither. But I thought today was gonna be boring. Turns out, it was quite the opposite."

I laugh as well. "I guess I should go. It's getting dark." Clarke nods. She kisses me on the cheek, and opens the door. I smile and start walking towards the park.

A little less than an hour later, I arrive at the park I slept at last night. I look at my watch: 8:57. I dig through my backpack and put on my hoodie, coat, beanie, and gloves. I climb into the little plastic tube thing, and put my backpack down to where my head's gonna go. I lay down. I'm absolutely exhausted. I close my eyes. Instead of counting, I think of Clarke. I smile to myself and fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been over a month, maybe two, and I know I said I'd try to post more often. I'm Sorry. I tried. But I swear I'll try and post at least once every other week. Anyway, I hope y'all like this chapter. Thank you for still reading it, even after the long gap in between chapters. BTW translations at the bottom.

**Lexa. Friday, November 4, 2016.**

I wake to the sound of several dogs barking. I look at my watch: 7:20. Oh shit. I'm late for school. Why the hell didn't my watch go off? I groan and roll over onto my back. I am definitely not gonna make it to 1st period. Damn. For a moment I consider just ditching, and making it a 4 day weekend. That is until I remember yesterday.

The thought of Clarke seeps into my mind. I smile. It did happen right? I didn't imagine it. She kissed _me_. I start laughing. I can't help it. I try to stop, but I can't. My laughter gets louder. I just can't believe that Clarke Griffin, most adored and beautiful girl in school, kissed me. I've laughed so much that my stomach is starting to hurt. I start slowly calming down. I start thinking about the kiss. Her lips were so amazing. There was no tongue or anything. but it was awesome. Her hair was so soft too, and when her hands were on my skin, it felt like I was going to burst into flames. I had always seen her in the hallways, how could you not notice her? She is absolutely stunning. Every once in awhile I would catch myself staring. Just admiring her. Maybe I had a crush this whole time.

Yeah, I'm definitely going to school.

As I come to this decision, a little girl, maybe about 4 or 5 years old, crawls into the tube I'm in. She looks up at me with innocent eyes. Confusion covers her face. I smile and give a little wave.

She smiles back at me. “Who are you? Why are you in here? Aren't you too big?”

I shrug. “Nah. Well, maybe. I don't know kid. But I slept in here, because of the rain. Oh, and I'm Lexa.” She looks displeased with my answer.

”Why? When it rains, I sleep with my mommy and daddy. I don't like the noise the rain makes.”

I smile. ”I don't have a mommy or daddy to save me from the scary rain noises. So when it rains I sleep in here because it makes sure I don't get wet and cold.”

”I thought everyone had a mommy and daddy? Why don't you?”

This kid is a little too curious. “That’s complicated, kid. I guess I should get to school. Don't tell anyone that you saw me here, OK kid? It'll be our little secret.” She nods. I exit. I see her mom with a little dog, a little ways down the sidewalk. The kid looks like her.

I walk to the same convenient store that I did yesterday. The man is awake so I don't take anything, not that I was planning on it this time anyway. I go straight to the bathroom and quickly get ready. As I'm leaving the store, I smile at the old man. He doesn't smile back.

I should make it to school in time for second period. There should still be a sub though, so I can take my time and not worry.

I make it to school with ten minutes left in first period. I decide to head to my locker before second period starts.

I walk slowly towards my locker. As I'm several feet from my locker I feel a hand on my arm. Before I can react I get yanked into some closet, and a yelp escapes from my throat. I opt against yelling for help, I don't want the extra attention. Plus I know that if I need to, I can handle this guy on my own.

we both stumble into the closet and almost fall. The other person has both their hands on my arms because of how we fell. I stay still to see what the other person is going to do. It's almost completely dark, except for the light coming from under the door from the hallway. I breathe deeply. The other person takes their hands off my arm and starts moving their arms against the wall. What the fuck is going on? Maybe someone was trying to mess with someone, and accidentally grabbed me instead. From what I can tell the person has found what they're looking for because I stop hearing their hand against the wall. They turn on the light.

It's Clarke.

I breathe a huge sigh of relief. Then I smack her arm.

"Ow." She says with a smile. "What was that for?"

I smack her again. "You scared the shit out of me!" After a moment I start laughing, she joins me quickly.

In the midst of our laughter Clarke hears someone walking down the hall and covers my mouth with her hand. I hear them too, and from the way their shoes sound, it's probably a teacher. As they get closer, I reach behind Clarke and switch off the light. Another 30 seconds and they're gone. Clarke moves her hand away from my mouth and replaces it with her own lips. The kiss is soft and sweet, and ends too quickly.

"Hi." She says after she pulls away.

Holy shit. It wasn't a fluke. In the back of my head, I thought maybe last night was a fluke. Maybe she didn't actually like me. But no. For the second time in like, 12 hours, Clarke Griffin has kissed me twice.

I smile. "Hey. Why aren't you in class?" I say realizing that she should be in 1st period right now.

"I should ask you the same thing." She says with a grin. "Actually I was just bored. I was in English with Mr. Pike and he was annoying me, so I told him I had to go to the bathroom for a 'girl problem' and that I might not be back by the end of class. And you know how guys, especially adult guys, are when you say 'girl problem', so he let me go. I was actually going upstairs to meet you when you came out of class, but I saw you in the hall and decided to scare you. What about you?"

No use in lying completely."My alarm didn't go off this morning, and my parents leave for work before I get up."

She nods. "So, today after school, where do you wanna go?" I kind of stare at her. I'm unsure of what we are. She looks into my eyes and her smile falters a little. “I know we're both confused about us. So we'll talk, we'll figure out what we are.”

I give a small smile and nod. It's like she read my mind. “We can go wherever you want.” I reply. I just hope it's not another food place.

She grins. “Great! I'll figure that out later.” She gives a hint of a smirk, and her tone turns deviously playful. “But, you know, we have about 7 minutes until class. What do you suggest we do in that time?“

I bite my bottom lip, and my smile turns into a smirk as well. “Oh I have a few ideas.” I grab her shoulders and gently push her back into the wall. I keep one hand on her shoulder, and move my other to cup her cheek, with my fingertips in her hair, my face an inch away.

Clarke licked her lips slowly and swallowed hard. "Oh really?" She asks seductively. 

Clarke starts leaning in, but before our lips meet she stops. "Wait!" I pull back. Oh no. Did I do something wrong? Maybe she had second thoughts? I start to pull my hands away, but she grabs them, and holds them in her own. OK, now I'm confused.

I try to ask what's wrong, but she starts explaining herself. "I don't want this going very far yet, especially not in some random school closet. I like you, so I don't want us to do something we'll regret." I see uncertainty in her eyes, like she's frightened of what my reaction'll be.

I rub my thumb over her knuckles to try to reassure her. "I wasn't really planning on us doing it in some closet at school." I chuckle a little. "I mean sure, maybe later in the future, but definitely not for the first time." She nods with a small smile. She then lets go of my hands and puts them on my lower back, pulling me towards her.

"Glad we're on the same page." She says before kissing me deeply. It catches me off guard at first, but I recover quickly and reciprocate.

I have not kissed someone like this in a really, really long time. I forgot how amazing it feels. It's even more amazing with Clarke; it feels so different. I feel content, something I haven't truly felt in a very long time. I'm just scared for what's going to happen to cause this feeling to go away.

I go through 2nd period, not paying attention to anything. The only thing on my mind, is Clarke. The way her warm skin felt against my cold skin. The way my hands warmed at her touch. Finally the bell rings, and it's time for history.

When I walk into class the desks are normal, and people are in their assigned seats. Kind of a bummer, but I'll get to see her later and this morning totally makes up for it. Clarke is sitting at her desk, looking at her phone with a small smile on her face. I sit down at my desk and start counting in my head while I wait for class to start.

After class Clarke walks over to me while I'm putting my notebook back in my backpack. "Hey, so I was thinking: After school we go to my house and order pizza, and this weekend we go on a date. A real date, where I'm all chivalrous and pay." 

I'm not so sure about this. Not the date itself, I really wanna have the date. It's just, the whole pretending that I'm normal. Pretending that I don't live out of my backpack, and that I have parents. It's exhausting. I can't tell her anything, at least not now. Maybe if things get serious. Maybe. But right now, I don't know what to do about this date. She's probably gonna wanna pick me up and drop me off, but I can't give her an address. I guess I'll wing it, as usual.

Clarke is looking at me, waiting for an answer. I grin. "I would love to go on a date with you." She smiles widely. I love it when she smiles. "I can't do this weekend though. I have a family thing, _but_ how 'bout instead, we do it tonight? I could meet you at your house? Then, you can take me on this oh-so-chivalrous date."

I only have to wait for her answer for a short moment, because she says "OK" fairly quickly. "Meet me at my house at 7?" She says still smiling. Every time I see her, she's almost always smiling.

I nod. "7." I look at my watch, it's 10:18. "We should probably get to class." I say reluctantly, not wanting to go.

"OK, well, I'll see you later." She puts her hand on my arm. Is she really going to kiss me in the middle of the school hallway? She hesitates, but then makes up her mind and gently kisses my cheek. She whispers in my ear, "Bye."

I'm so glad I came to school today.

I try and concentrate on my classes the rest of the day. I have a feeling that I may be distracted later on in the year.

During gym, Clarke and I only share glances. Every once in a while i'll catch her staring at me, and vice versa. Each time she blushes. It's cute. I probably blushed a little too, but I'm in denial about that.

Towards the end of class, coach Lincoln gives us free time. I usually spend it counting in my head. This time, as I was leaning against the wall, about to start, I see Clarke walking towards me. Usually she's with her friends. I start counting in my head anyway. She's making me nervous, and this almost always calms me down.

She walks up to me, almost hesitantly, but not like she's ashamed to be seen with me. No. It's something else. I'll ask her tonight, maybe. Her friends look at Clarke, confused, but then start talking to each other, letting Clarke be.

She walks up to me, smiling. "Hey, how's it going?"

I give her a small smile in return. "Hi, I'm fine. We still on for tonight?" I ask.

She laughs a little. "Of course. Oh, and I have a place in mind. How do you feel about either, Saltgrass, or Olive Garden?"

Oh my god, those are my two favorite places to eat. I know people in the kitchen's for both, and they'll give me leftovers. However, I do know that both of these places run on the more expensive side. "I don't know Clarke. They're both kinda pricey, you know?"

She gives me a look. "I'm paying, and I don't care if it's a little more expensive. I think we both deserve some steak, or bread sticks."

I give in. She's very persuasive, what can I say? "OK then. Um, I'm feeling more Olive Garden." She nods once triumphantly and is about to say something else, but Raven calls her over.

She sighs. "I should probably see what she wants, or she'll just keep yelling for me." We both chuckle. "So, meet me at my house at 7, and we'll go to Olive Garden."

I nod. "It's a date. Can't wait."

Raven yells for Clarke again. "Griffin! Get your ass over here or I swear to god, the thing I'm planning will be blown up in your house!"

I laugh. She seems very entertaining, very funny. I feel like me and her would get along. If, ya know, this whole thing with me and Clarke works out well. Clarke laughs at what Raven yelled, but also looks genuinely concerned at the threat. "I should probably go. My mom would kill me if she blew up our house. But, I'll see you tonight. Bye." She leans in, but ends up moving to the side and kisses my cheek. I love it when she does that, it's very comforting and I don't know why. She walks back over to the rest of The Trinity. As she's talking to Raven and Octavia, I can feel her glancing at me. I look up, and she looks away, focusing her attention on what the other girls are saying.

Coach tells us to get changed and go home. I look at my watch, it's 2:28. Only 2 minutes left in school. Since I have the date, I definitely need to stay after and use the gym showers. All the teachers like me and trust me, so they'll let me stay here alone, after gym to shower. It's great.

Everyone gets dressed and leaves. I see Clarke leaving, while still talking to Raven, who seems to be enthusiastically talking about something "going boom", and Octavia listening and rolling her eyes. I stay in my gym clothes, and wait on the bench in front of my locker, until everyone is gone. I go into the gym and walk to the other side where coach Lincoln's office is. I knock on the open door.

"Hey, coach, I was just letting you know that I was gonna stay after for a while and shower." He turns and looks up at me from his office chair.

He nods. "Yeah, sure. Just let me know when you're done so I can lock up." I nod.

I go back into the locker room. I head into the showering area, grab a towel, my showering stuff from my backpack, head to my favorite shower with the good water pressure, and crank up the hot water. I stand under the steaming water for what feels like eternity. I spend probably 30-40 minutes showering. It doesn't take me very long to actually clean myself, but today I shaved, and I just really love standing under the hot water. When I'm done, I dry off, get dressed, and tell coach that I'm done and leaving.

Now the real question: what do I do until the date. I look at my watch, 3:13. I have 4 and a half hours until my date with Clarke. I'm all clean, so I would prefer to stay inside. Oh I'll go to the library. They like me there too because I'll help them after hours. The library is only a 10-15 minute walk from the school.

I walk into the library, and the smell of books hits me. It's probably one of my favorite smells. I walk to the checkout desk to talk to the librarian, Niylah. She's been running the library for almost a year, and she's been working, or volunteering, here for as long as I can remember. When I first came here, she was in high school, and volunteered at the library. She's my oldest friend. Even though she's almost 10 years older than me.

I walk up while her back is turned to me and say, "Hey babe, did'ya miss me?" and grin.

She turns around and starts laughing. "Hey Lexa! Haven't seen you in here in a while, where the hell've you been?" She shoves my shoulder playfully.

My grin stays in place. "So you did miss me." She shakes her head with a smile. Yeah, she missed me.

We walk back to her office. She doesn't know _exactly_ about my situation, only what she's assumed after our many years of friendship. If she were to ask, I might even tell her everything, but I definitely wouldn't just blurt it out. We sit down on the couch in her office. "So, where _have_ you been? It's been weeks since I last saw you."

I run my hand through my still damp hair. "I know, I'm sorry. I've been meaning to come by, but I've been kinda busy, you know with school and stuff." She sighs. I give her a small smile and say. "But I promise to come by more often. And you know me, I'm a woman of my word."

She laughs a little. "Yeah, you are." Someone from outside her office calls her name. "I'll be back." She says before getting up, and going out to deal with whatever's going on.

I lay down on the couch and start thinking about tonight. I feel like I could lie my way through any questions she might have that I can't answer. One thing I'll have to deal with though: my backpack. If I could, I would leave it in my little hiding spot in the woods, but I don't have time to do that, plus I'd get all dirty and I don't wanna shower again. Maybe I could leave it here. Niylah will probably question why, but she's always believed, even my shittiest of lies. Even if she questions my sanity, she'll most likely still do it.

Several minutes later Niylah reemerges inside her office. Might as well ask now before I get distracted. "Hey, Ni? Can I ask you a small favor?" She nods and flops on the couch. "OK, so, I have a thing tonight, and it would take to long for me to go all the way home get cleaned up, and then go. So I was wondering if I could leave my backpack here, and then pick it up tonight, or tomorrow morning if it gets too late."

She stares at me for a bit. It's like she's trying to figure out something I said. Was that too confusing? Did I word it weirdly? I do that sometimes. In my head it'll make sense but when I say it, the other person gets confused. It's not their fault. My brain just works kinda weird I guess.

Finally she replies. "So this thing, is it, is it a date?" She's grinning. She already knows the answer. She gasps. "I knew it! Who knew? Lexa Woods going on a date!" She grabs my shoulder and shakes it triumphantly. "So, who is she? I want all the details. I would like, in no particular order but I know you'll do it in this order: name, age, grade, where you met, and how long this has been going on." I like how she knows that I'll answer in the order she asked the questions.

I take a breath. "OK. Clarke Griffin, 16, same as me - junior, met at school officially because of a project for history, and it's only been going on for like a day and a half." She takes a moment to process all this.

"Do you have feelings for her?" She asks, after a few seconds.

"Ni, I've only known this girl for like two days, how could I'ave possibly caught feelings already?" She looks unconvinced. "We've only kissed a few times. I barely know this girl, let alone have the feelings for this girl." She keeps giving me this look, and I keep talking. "OK, so, maybe I like it when touches my arm, and maybe it makes my skin feel hot. Maybe when she held my hands it actually warmed them up for the first time in like a million years." Shit, she's breaking me. And she's not even doing anything. I just keep talking. "Also, so what if maybe, I like the way she smell when she's so very close to me." God, why won't I shut up already? How is she doing this? "It doesn't mean anything just because when she kisses me on the cheek I feel all warm and like I could fly away. It doesn't mean _anything_ , and I sure as hell haven't caught feelings from this girl."

OK that was scary. She got me to say all this without doing anything. What kind of witchcraft is that look?

She finally speaks. "Oh yeah, you definitely love her." She says matter-of-factly.

My eyes go wide, and so does her smile. "Love? whoa there Niylah. Nobody _ever_ said anything about love."

"Whatever you say Lexa. I gotta go back to work. Feel free to chill back here until your date with your one true love." She says with an annoying grin, and she runs out the door as I grab a pillow off the couch to throw at her. She makes it out the door too fast and I hit the wall.

I lay back down on the couch. Love. She's so weird. Love. I am definitely not in love.

After a few hours of me hanging around the library it's time for me to get ready. I'm not one for make-up, it's too much of a hassle for me, and I also don't know how to use it. So I don't have to deal with that while getting ready. I am however going to change clothes. I've worn these jeans for 3 days in a row, and the shirt ain't too clean either. I dig through my backpack for my favorite long sleeve shirt and hoodie, and my dark blue jeans. I should probably also change my bra. I've been wearing it for about a week and a half. Don't need to change my underwear, I put on clean ones after I showered. After I dig all my stuff out I set it down on the couch, I grab my "Hygiene Bag" and head to the bathroom.

I wash my face, brush my teeth and hair and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'm going on a date, with Clarke Griffin of all people. I've never been on an date, not a real 'proper' one at least. Those damn nervous feelings are back and worse than ever. I close my eyes and start counting, this time aloud. I whisper to myself, counting up to 43. I open my eyes, and smile. I'm going on a date with Clarke Griffin.

I get dressed and say bye to Niylah. I put my chin on her shoulder. "I gotta go. If I'm out too late I'll just grab my stuff tomorrow."

She nods. "OK. Go have fun on your date with your one true love!" I gently smack the side of her head. "You didn't deny it!" She laughs.

I shake my head and move off her shoulder. "You're impossible." I start walking away towards the door.

She yells across the library. "But you still love me!" I laugh to myself, turn around and wave goodbye.

The walk to Clarke's house from the library should be less than a half hour. I check my watch, 6:23. I might be a little early. Oh well.

I make it to her street with 10 minutes to spare. I stand behind the fence of the first house on her street. Even though I've had all day, with a half hour walk to clear my head, I still want these next few minutes.

I'm so scared. What if I say something wrong? What if I say something that gives me away? What if she can sense that there's something off with me? I know most of my lies so well, I'm pretty sure I could pass a polygraph easily with them. But she has this tendency of asking questions most people don't, or that I haven't thought of. She makes me so nervous to, what if I make a fool of myself? I don't wanna back out though. She gives me this awfully wonderful feeling in my stomach. It's like butterfly's that I don't want gone.

I shake out my hands and arms. I can do this. I like her, and I'm not gonna let myself stand in the way. I am aware I've only known this girl for a couple days, but still. I'm starting to think Niylah was right, maybe I _am_ starting to have feelings for Clarke. I check my watch, it's 6:58. I walk to Clarke's door. I knock on her door and whisper to myself. "Ai gonplei nou ste odon."

A middle aged woman opens the door. Abby Griffin. Wow she's pretty. I can see where Clarke gets it. "Hi, is Clarke here?" I thought she would be working.

She nods. "Yeah, she's almost done getting ready. Come on in." She opens the door wider. "What's your name?"

I swallow hard. "Lexa. I'm Lexa." I stick my hand out to shake hers.

She smiles and shakes my hand. Her hands have calluses, but are still soft. "I'm Abby Griffin, Clarke's mom." I nod and smile. She goes to the stairs and yells. "Clarke Lexa's here!"

Clarke yells back. "OK. I'm coming!" I can hear her walking upstairs. She runs for a second, stops and then walks to the stairs.

As she walks down the stairs and into my sight, I lose my breath. She's even more gorgeous than usual. Is she walking down the stairs very slowly, or is that in my head? "Yu ste meizen." I whisper accidentally. I correct myself and say aloud. "You look fantastic." She's wearing light blue jeans, black converse, a black tank top, a red flannel, and a light grey hoodie. She also has a little planet necklace on and simple make-up. She's wearing something simple, but it just makes her look absolutely amazing. I can't even begin to imagine how stunning she would look when she dressed up.

She smiles widely. She bites her bottom lip, and then says, "You ready?" I nod. Clarke's mom seems to have disappeared. Clarke walks over to me and kisses my cheek. I smile warmly. "One sec." She says before walking to the kitchen. I hear her say bye to her mom and her walking back to me. "Let's go." I nod, and we walk out the door

We get to her car and before I can open my door she grabs me and kisses me deeply. I run my hand through her incredibly soft, blonde hair. My other hand is on her side, gripping her jacket. Her hands are on my back and the side of my face, respectively. She pulls away and rests her forehead on mine. "Hi." She breathes.

"Hello." I chuckle softly. I drag my fingers up and down her left arm. My other hand's still on her other side.

"Did I tell you how good you look?" She asks me.

I shake my head. "Me? Look at you. _You_ look amazing." She bites her lip again. Does she not realize how much that drives me crazy? She's so sexy. Maybe that's why she does it. I can't take it. I kiss her. After a minute, I deepen the kiss.

She pulls away again. "If we keep this up, we'll miss dinner." I laugh. "Come on." She opens my door for me. "Let's go eat. I'm hungry. You?" She says as she walks to her door.

I nod. "Starving. My mouth's watering just thinking of those breadsticks." She laughs and we both get in the car.

As she starts the car I look over at her. She looks back at me and grins. I smile back and she turns to face the front.

Niylah was right. I've definitely got feelings for Clarke. She turns the radio on to start blasting her music. She starts doing her little mini daces in her seat as she's driving. Oh yeah, definitely. I better not mess this up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked it. I'm going to try to post every other week, but I might be going on vacation without wifi in a week or two. I'll try my hardest to post before then, if I end up going. But anyway, If y'all have any questions, comments, concerns, or requests for this story, feel free to comment. Thanks for reading. <3  
> Translations:  
> Ai gonplei nou ste odon - "My fight is not over."  
> Yu ste meizen - "You are beautiful."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies. Again I break promises so imma stop makin that one. My new chapter update goal is _at least_ once a month. I hope you enjoy this chapter. :)
> 
> P.S. I tried to incorporate the grounder culture into Lexa, please tell me if this is too confusing.

**Lexa. Friday, November 4, 2016**

We've been on our date for 10 minutes and I have successfully not screwed up. I'm proud. I'm usually a really great liar, especially when I'm nervous. It's how I've survived on my own for so long. I can figure people out. I figure out what they want to see of me and I play to that. If someone is more likely to respond to a feeble shy girl, like the substitutes, then that's how I act. If someone responds to confidence, than that's how I act with _them_.

But with Clarke it's different. She doesn't seem to want to see me as something or someone in particular. I think she just wants me to be myself. And if I'm being honest, that really scares me.

There's just something about Clarke though. She makes it easy and difficult at the same time. She makes it easy for me to be myself, but that's what's so difficult. I can't be completely myself without telling her everything.

Right now I have to just be in the moment and try not to overthink. Considering I'm me, and all I do is think, overthink, and over-analyze, this should be interesting.

We're both sipping on our drinks, and looking at our menus. I already know what I want, but I might as well look. After another minute Clarke puts her menu down. "So, Lexa Woods. You know, you are quite the mystery. I don't seem to know that much about you." She says while messing with her straw.

I put my menu down. "What do you wanna know?" Possibly the worst answer I could've chosen, and yet, it came out of my mouth. It is literally letting her ask any question she can think of. This could potentially hurt me, but it's too late now. I just really hope she doesn't ask questions I don't already have lies/answers for.

 _She_ seems pleased with my answer choice though. "Well uh, what about your parents? What do they do for a living?"

Of course. She had to start with my main lie. Luckily having parents is a lie I've told many many times. "They're both research scientists. They study diseases and stuff like that. I don't know a _whole_ lot about it though. Their stuff is too confusing for me, too many giant sciency words." Clarke laughs.

"I get that. Raven is a total science nerd. Her vocabulary is basically giant sciency words, and curse words. She tries to explain her projects to me and Octavia, but I can't understand like, half of what she's saying." We both start laughing, but then the waiter comes to take our order.

I'm not paying that much attention to the guy, until he says my name. "Lexa? Hey, I thought that was you."

"Roan, hey! I didn't know you were back in town. I woulda come by sooner." I turn to Clarke who looks kinda confused, but is still smiling. "Clarke this is Roan, Roan this is Clarke." Me and Roan have known each other for maybe over a year. He'll give me free leftover food if I help him clean up after hours. "Roan here is in the Navy. When he's off duty he works here to bring in the extra dough."

He nods. "I don't know how long I'll be back though." He turns to me. "Em ste yun hodnes?"

I reply. "No, em ste ai lukot." Him and Niylah both, just assuming I love her. I shake my head and say. "I'm starving, are you gonna take our order or what?"

He rolls his eyes, but is smiling. "So bossy. What can I get ya?" I look over at Clarke whose confusion has gone from small, to completely lost.

I order first. "I'll have the Chicken Alfredo. Clarke?"

"The Fettuccine Alfredo please." She says. She hands her menu to Roan, I do the same.

After Roan leaves, Clarke grabs a breadstick and asks. "What was that?"

I also grab a breadstick and put it on my little plate. "What?" I say, not sure which part she's referring to.

"That language, what was that? I've never heard that before." She takes a bite of her breadstick.

Oh, that part. I guess I could tell her the truth about this. Nobody knows anything about it because I've never spoken been asked about it before before. But I don't see why there's any reason to lie about it.

"Oh. That's kind of a long and possibly confusing story, so bear with me." She nods and takes another bite out of her breadstick. "OK, so, here goes. There is this, for the most part, unknown culture. I guess you could say it's similar to the Native American culture in the way it's set-up, not like beliefs or anything. There's a whole language, stories, traditions, beliefs, etc. They're called the Trigedakru, and their language is Trigedasleng. There are 12 different clans spread around. Some are: Trikru, Azgeda, and Floukru. Both me and Roan are Trigedakru, and we were speaking Trigedasleng. We're from different clans though. I'm Trikru, and he's Azgeda. It's not very well known because it's pretty small. There are stories though of the golden age for Trigedakru, when there were thousands of us. Those aren't confirmed by society though, so many of the newer generation don't really believe that. There are actually villages from clans that live away from the rest of the world. Those are mostly in Canada, or really up north in America." She just stares at me for a moment. I tried to keep it as short as possible, so as to be less confusing, but she still seems lost.

After a little bit, I guess after she's processed everything, she clears her throat. "So, you're telling me, that there's an entire race, or culture or whatever, that a majority of people, including myself, haven't ever heard of?" I simply nod and drink more of my soda. "Whoa. OK, so let me know if I got this right. So you are Trigedakru, from the clan Trikru, and speak Trigedasleng." I nod again. "Cool." I grin at her response.

Roan brings us our food and I try my hardest not to devour it in 5 minutes. I am so hungry. I'm really good at getting enough food to survive, but I mean, I'm not a miracle worker. I am probably malnourished. I remember during one summer I went almost 2 weeks eating only Pop-tarts and a jar of peanut butter. When I finally managed to get my hands on real food, I ended up puking it all back up a few hours later. Not pleasant.

As we're eating Clarke asks me, "You said that there are villages from clans that live away from the rest of the world, have you ever been to one? If you don't mind my asking."

I swallow my food and respond. "No it's fine. You can ask me anything." I take a sip of Coke. "I have been to one of the Trikru villages. It's the one that both my parents are from. They left for college so that they could study diseases and medicine so that they could go back and help their people. But when they came back, a new leader had been appointed after the previous one died, and he was extremely traditional. He rejected what they learned, saying that their ways had worked for thousands of years, and that their village didn't need anything from the outside world. He couldn't banish them though because my grandparents had been apart of the village their whole lives, and everyone knew and loved them and my parents. They were given the option to stay, but chose not to. We visit every year, but after my grandparents died, the visits became less. It's kind of movie cliche, but what can I say? It's cliche because it happens." I stuff some chicken into my mouth.

Clarke has another unreadable expression on her face. "That's- wow." She seems kind of overwhelmed. Not like, wishing she didn't know this. No. More like, shocked that there was an entire culture she didn't even know existed. I can understand that. Maybe I should switch the topic, and we'll talk about my people another time.

"Enough about me. What about you? I already know your parents of course. Your mom, one of the best Cardiac surgeons in the state, and your dad, spectacular engineer. You got great genes." She laughs. "But, what about you? What do you wanna do with your life?"

"I'm not exactly sure yet. I'm thinking maybe a doctor like my mom. I've always had a knack for medicine, and I wanna be able to help people. I just don't wanna be known as Abby Griffin's daughter. I'm also fairly good at art, but I don't think I could do that career-wise. But, ya know, nothing's set in stone. What about you?"

I actually have like no idea what I wanna do. I don't have the money for college. I would get a job, but I'm not exactly the most reliable person. I have looked into it recently though, but no places that I'm qualified for are hiring.

"I'm not sure yet either. I've never really had that thing I always wanted to be when I grew up, ya know?" She nods.

We both eat more of our food, and ask each other more questions. We learn of our mutual love for Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I find out that it's unacceptable not to know and love some girl group called Fifth Harmony. And Clarke finds it odd that I don't have a cell phone.

"How do you not have a cell phone? You're 16 years old!" She seems very shocked at this fact. I never got even a disposable phone, because I have no use for one. It's crossed my mind several times, but it just never happens. Maybe I should get one soon though.

"My parents don't really want me to have one. They don't like smartphones at all, and they both have those keypad Blackberry ones because they needed them for work. I've asked them to get me at least a flip-phone, so far nothing, but they're thinking about it."

She still seems shocked. "What about Internet, and TV and stuff like that, do you have that?" Again with the questions nobody asks me. Everyone just assumes I have these things because everyone does, so I've never been asked about it before.

"We don't have Internet actually. They use data on their phones when they need to." Her jaw drops a little in even more shock. I laugh a little at her response and continue. "We do have a TV, but it's only got like, basic cable. We have a DVD player too. That's actually what we use the TV for the most, we watch a lot of movies. We've all always loved movies." More of my twisted truths. I actually do love movies. I sneak into the movie theater all the time. I also do kinda have a DVD player, it's just a portable one that I got as a gift years ago. So that wasn't entirely a lie.

"So what else do you do for fun at your house? I'm the kind of person that is almost always on the Internet in some way, so I'm really confused right now." I laugh again. She's very amusing, like all the time.

"Well, I watch movies a lot. We also have a few shows on DVD, so I'll watch those. But mostly I read." All truths again, this pleases me.

"Ah so you like to read?"

I nod. "Love to read. Loved it for as long as I can remember."

"I like it too, but I'm too picky about the books I read, so I don't a whole lot anymore. What's your favorite book?"

"I've read many many books, so that's really hard. _but_ if I had to pick, I'd probably say The Book Thief. I've read that book half a dozen times, maybe more."

She nods her head in approval. "I saw the movie, but I never got around to reading it."

A few minutes later Roan comes by to check on us. "Hey guys, y'all doing alright?"

I nod and hand him my empty plate. "Can I get a to-go Coke?" I ask.

He nods and Clarke asks the same. He takes her plate as well, and says he'll be right back.

After he leaves Clarke says, "I still can't believe that a) there's an entire culture that I didn't know about, and b) that y'all are apart of it." She pauses and hesitates in her next question, presumably because she doesn't want to offend me. "Is that why you don't have Internet, and they hate cell phones?"

I nod. "Pretty much, yeah. I don't blame 'em, it's how they were raised. My mom once told me, the first time she'd ever seen a TV was when she was around 15." I swallow hard. I haven't talked about them like this in a long time. Usually questions about them aren't about _themselves_ , but usually where they are, what they do, stuff like that. But I don't really talk about them like this. Now that I am, I can't bring myself to lie about what they were like. But I bottle my feelings and pretend like nothing's wrong. Like they're still here. "She fell in love with movies and TV shows, so did my dad. When they came here permanently, the first thing they did was go see a movie in a theater for the first time."

Clarke is grinning widely. I'm smiling too. It brings me down to think about them, but at the same time it makes me really happy to remember how great they were. "Wait." Clarke says. "How'd they get into college? If they'd never even seen a TV until they were 15, how'd they even know about college?" She notices everything. She'd make a great cop.

"This is also a long story, so tell me if you get bored and wanna change the subject. They heard about college in the "other-kru" which is what they call _our_ society, from stories of villagers who went to visit. They managed to get into Duke University. They didn't know how to apply so they went up to the school together after they both decided they wanted to study diseases. They spent a week there going from person to person all the way up the chain of command, just trying to get to the person who could help them get in. Once they'd figure out who they had to go to, they set up their meeting, which I'm told was almost impossible because they didn't know what they were doing at _all_. I don't remember which person they went to though. Anyways, they explained their situation to the man in charge, and at first he didn't buy it. Not until an announcement was made over the loud-speaker and my mom drew out her knife from her belt. This guy had a minor in something historical, and asked to see her knife. It was a hand-made knife with the Trikru symbol carved in the handle, that her mother gave to her when she was much younger and training. He had never seen anything like it before. Honestly though, their clothes should have proved they weren't lying. I've seen the clothes, they don't exactly blend in. After they explained everything, and why they wanted in, he told them that he would help them. They had to take a special class with him and a few other professors to see if they could make it in their world. The college agreed to pay for their housing and other stuff, and in exchange, my parents would answer any and every question about Trigedakru and show them how they lived their life. The only thing they refused to though, was taking this guy to their village. The professors were all very shocked at the extent of their knowledge. My mom says that they were all expecting both of them to be stupid, and unable to even count. They ended up getting a full ride and graduated with honors."

Clarke looks very, I don't know, shocked? Maybe? "That is literally the greatest thing I've ever heard. When did they learn English though?"

"They're taught English at a very young age so that if they need to go to the other-kru, they could understand and talk to people. Trigedasleng is their first and main language though."

Roan comes back with our to-go cups and the check. "Here y'all go. Did y'all enjoy everything?" Clarke nods as she fishes through her purse for her money.

"Yeah it was great. Haven't eaten here in a while. Better than I remembered." I reply.

Clarke finds what she's looking for, puts it in the checkbook thing, and hands it to Roan. "Keep the change." She says with a warm smile.

He smiles, says thanks and leaves.

"I feel like we've talked about my parents more than we have ourselves." I say with a laugh.

She chuckles lightly. "Yeah, I know. It's just so interesting." She pauses. "You ready to go?"

I nod and she starts getting out of the booth. I grab the last breadstick and follow her. As we're walking out of the restaurant, I tear the breadstick in half and give one piece to her. She takes it happily and says, "Thanks, you're sweet."

We get into her car. I turn to her and she's staring at me. "What?" I say, smiling. She makes me feel all warm and happy inside.

She shakes her head. "Nothing. I just find you fascinating, Lexa Woods. Everything about you, and not just because of your parents, in case that's what you were thinking"

I lean over and I kiss her slowly. She slips her tongue in and it gives me butterflies. I wanna be in this moment forever. Just me and Clarke. We break away. "I find you fascinating as well, Clarke Griffin."

She smiles. "Do you wanna go to the park?" She asks suddenly.

I look at my watch out of habit. It's 8:16. I smile at her and say, "Yeah, sounds like fun."

We drive there, how we drive everywhere. With the radio blasting, and me confused at the songs. Up until now I had forgotten that we were supposed to talk about what we are to each other. I don't know what I want though. Actually I know what I want, what I don't know is what I can allow myself to have. If this ends up getting serious, it could end in disaster. I have too much at stake to get caught. But I've said it before and I'll say it again, Clarke has this magical power over me. I want so badly to be with her even though I could potentially ruin everything. Honestly, if she asked for us to see each other more, I don't know what I'd say.

We've been walking around the park for a little less than half an hour, just talking, joking, laughing. Normal human-being things I should probably do more often if I want to appear more normal. We end up sitting closely on a bench.

Clarke turns to me as if she's going to say something, but instead starts to lean in. Before our lips meet I hear someone calling Clarke's name. We both look around for the source, but Clarke seems like she knows who it is already. After a couple seconds, I see Raven Reyes and Octavia Blake walking towards us hand-in-hand.

I'm actually really scared right now. Briefly meeting her mom was one thing. Meeting her friends is completely different. Also they're _The Trinity_. Clarke sees the terrified look on my face, and grabs my hand. I look up at her gorgeous blue eyes, and she gives me a reassuring smile. "You'll be fine, Lex." At least one of us thinks so.

They walk up to us. "Clarke! What a coincidence! Me and Octavia here were just taking a stroll."

Clarke glares at her. "You tracked my phone again and followed us here didn't you?"

Raven feigns shock. "What? Clarke, I would never. That is a violation of trust and privacy."

Clarke shifts her glare to Octavia. "O?"

"Oh yeah, she totally did. Honestly I'm surprised she didn't do it a hour earlier."

Raven sighs and rolls her eyes. "Well what did you expect?! You wouldn't tell us _anything_! I had to find out somehow."

Clarke smacks her arm. I try my hardest not to laugh.

Clarke sighs. "Well, since you're here now. Raven, Octavia, this is Lexa Woods. Lexa, these are my intrusive friends Raven and Octavia."

"Ah yes. Me and Lexa here go way back. All the way to the other morning in which we slammed into each other causing us to both fall on our asses."

Clarke and Octavia don't look surprised. Octavia starts chastising her. "Ray! You were walking and working again weren't you? You gotta stop that. You've already run into a dozen people _this school year alone_. And those are only the ones you told me about."

Raven rolls her eyes, and turns her attention to me and Clarke. "So are you two an item officially yet? Or..." Octavia elbows her in the gut.

"Ow! What?"

Octavia responds. "They've only been on one date Raven. And technically the date hasn't even ended because _we_ interrupted them."

Clarke starts speaking before either one of them can ask another question. "Speaking of that. They're not gonna leave us alone, so I might as well do this now." She pauses. "I want to keep seeing you, Lex. I know this is only our first date, so I get it if you don't wanna make anything official yet, but I _do_ wanna keep seeing you. Even if it's just simply dating."

I want that to. I want that so much. I know I was freaking out about this all day, but now that the moment is here, there's no doubt in my mind. I want Clarke. Even if it's only for a short period of time. I don't have a damn clue why, but I'm drawn to her. Like we were always supposed to meet.

I turn to face her completely and take a shaky breath. "Clarke I want to keep seeing you too. And if you want to, I want to be your girlfriend."

She grins and bites her lip. "Really? You're not freaked out that we haven't even finished our first date?"

Oh I'm absolutely freaked out, but not about this happening quickly. I shake my head. "I'm sure. There's just something about you Clarke Griffin, I'm drawn to you, and I'm not scared."

I lean in and kiss her deeply. I can feel all minds of emotions churning inside of me, wanting to get out. Raven and Octavia both say, "Awwwwww!" Like they've seen the most adorable puppy. We break apart and laugh.

Clarke turns to them, my hand in hers and says, "To answer your question, Raven, yes, we are official."

We end up turning this into a double date with Raven and Octavia. We're all sitting in the grass away from other people. Clarke is laying on my thighs as I play with her hair, and Raven is practically sitting in Octavia's lap as she's telling us a story about how she accidentally almost burned down her old middle school.

"I managed to fix it before it exploded and blew up me and the whole science department. In my defense they shouldn't have left 6th grader me alone in the science lab with all those chemicals and shit layin out like that."

"Is that why you moved here? Because you almost burned down your school?" I ask her. They've made me feel comfortable quite quickly.

She playfully rolls her eyes. "No. We moved because a couple weeks later one of my creations actually _did_ blow up a little in the auditorium, causing a small fire." We all burst out laughing. "Well what about you Lexa? You moved about a year after I did. What brought _you_ to small town, practically middle-of-nowhere, Polis Virginia?" Raven asks me.

"Well, after my grandparents died, my parents wanted to get a fresh start away from all our relatives. They love middle-of-nowhere small towns, especially near the forest."

This time Octavia asks me a question. "Do you have a big family?"

"I have a large, um, extended family." I reply.

"Where are you from?" Raven asks.

"I was born in North Carolina, but I only lived there a couple years. I was in Michigan for about 7ish years though, and that's where most of my family is." I reply.

"Cool. Both me and Octavia have lived here all our lives. I think I've only been out of Virginia once." Clarke responds.

Octavia chimes in. "I've _never_ been outside of Virginia. I need to change that though."

After another hour we decide to all go home. I tell Clarke that I need to help a friend at the library, so she doesn't need to drive me.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you? It's no trouble, really." Clarke says, trying to convince me to accept her ride. "I'm willing to wait and drive you home."

I laugh. "Clarke, it is literally across the street. We'll probably be able to see it from your car." 

She sighs in defeat. "I know. It's dark."

I smile. She's worried about me, nobody's been worried about me in a long time. It's nice.

We get to her car and she leans on the hood. Before I can start saying goodbye, she she grabs my arms gently and pulls me down into a passionate kiss. My stomach twist in knots. Before I know it, her hands are on the small of my back under my shirt. Her touch sets my skin on fire. My hands are on her side, and I'm on top or on the hood of the car.

It was only a couple minutes, but it felt like a glorious eternity. Our eternity was interrupted when I hear Raven yelling, "Get a room!" And then her and Octavia laughing hysterically.

I break away from Clarke and start laughing. "They always seem to be interrupting us don't they?" Clarke says with a laugh.

I give her a light kiss on the nose, and then pull both me and her up off the hood of a car. She stares in my eyes for a moment. "You know what you said earlier, about being drawn to me?" I nod. "I feel the same way." I smile. She continues. "I've always had this longing to talk to you, but I never had the guts. Then we got paired up for the project and I was like, 'This is my chance.' I'm drawn to you too Lexa."

There are words that you don't know you want to hear, until you hear them. This is a perfect example. Her words sound so sweet and fantastic. I can't even believe she saying them to _me._

I grin and pull her closer into a heated kiss. My stomach is doing flips and all I can hear is our heartbeats and her breath. All I can feel is where her fingers touch my skin. I never want the moment to end.

Me and Clarke finally break away and I head to the library. It's almost 10:30, but Niylah practically lives at the end library, so she should still be there. Plus, she is nosey, and is probably waiting to hear about the date.

I can see lights still on so I go in through the back door. I walk into her office and see my stuff exactly where I left it, and Niylah asleep on the couch with a book on her chest. Looks like she tried to wait for me, but couldn't make it. I grab her book and place it on her desk, and then take the blanket that's on top of the couch, and lay it across her. I go to her desk and leave her a note telling her I'll come by on Monday.

I head out to start my 17 mile walk to the good rest stop. I look up at the sky and see thousands of stars. I smile to myself. I don't know why, but they make me think of Clarke. I start walking with the week's events replaying in my head, like a movie I could watch forever. The thought of Clarke makes me smile like I haven't smiled in a really long time. She's in my head. And I don't think I mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Em ste yun hodnes? - She is your love?  
> No, em ste ai lukot. - No, she is my friend.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies. It's been awhile, but I've finally finished this chapter. I don't know if people are still writing/reading clexa fic anymore, but I really like this story so I intend to keep writing it. Hope you enjoy.

**Lexa. Saturday, November 5, 2016.**

I get to the rest stop at 3:27. Because I walk everywhere, and have been for 7 years now, I have legs of steel and walk a lot faster than most people. On average it takes someone around 6-9 hours to walk 17 miles. My average is 4-5 hours.

I get there and I am absolutely exhausted. I don't wanna do anything except sleep. But before can fall into a blissful slumber, I have to get my stuff. I have a duffel bag with the majority of my belongings buried by a tree. Even though very few people come to this rest-stop, I won't risk some jackass finding my stuff and stealing it. So I go around to the back of the building into the woods, and several yards away is an old tree that looks like it's been here for all time. It's a pale color that I can't exactly describe, with infinite branches that stretch out forever. And if you look to the left there's a carving with a date: 3-07-09. That's where my duffel bag is buried. It's not buried deep, so I just dig it up with my hands and head back with it on my shoulder.

My feet are sore and my shoulders hurt. I just want to sleep and dream. As I'm walking to the building I start to think about Clarke, or more specifically, me and Clarke being together. The options for our ending are limited. She either: finds out who I am and dumps me, doesn't find out and gets frustrated that I'm keeping something from her and dumps me, finds out and accepts me but her friends and/or family don't so she dumps me, or the least likely one is that she finds out and accepts me along with her friends and family allowing us at a shot at a happy ending. I can feel my stomach churn with anxiety and decide that this is a thought for a less tired, future me.

Inside the rest stop, that I like to think of as home, is 2 restrooms, 2 shower rooms, a snack and drink vending machines, and some benches. However, in between the girls and guys restrooms, is an extremely old looking door. It's once dark wood, is now chipped and covered in a variety of stains. About 3 inches above the doorknob is a horizontal plank of wood nailed across the door.

I grab the rusty doorknob and push the door open. I duck under the wooden plank and enter a small dark room. I close the door behind me and take out my flashlight from my backpack. I shine the light on the room, showing what used to be an old office. In the back corner however, there is a wooden staircase that leads upstairs. That's my destination.

I walk up the stairs to the attic. I turn on one the lamp in the room. The lamp shines light on what many would consider to be a sad, dark, little room. I however, consider this room to be the closest thing to home that I have. There is a small dirty window across from the door, a king size bed which was here when I got here, and a large bedside table with the lamp on top. There is also an old mini fridge that I'm surprised still even works.

I drop my duffel bag by the door and collapse onto the bed. I kick off my shoes and pull the blanket over me. I don't have enough energy to change into pajamas, so I fall asleep in my dirty clothes.

_I can't breathe. I can't see. I feel heat covering my body. I yell out for my parents. I don't hear anything. I keep yelling and screaming for them. I see orange and red flames outside of the boat window. I feel hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I'm running but I can't see. I trip over something and slam to the ground. On the ground I'm met with my mothers face. There are tears in her eyes that she refuses to let out, especially with me looking so terrified._

_"Nomon." I squeak out. I sob over her. There's blood pooling around her._

_She reaches up and touches my face. "My Heda." She says, repressing a sob. "My sweet girl. We tried so hard to protect you. You must protect yourself now, my love, your fight is not over. Ste yuj. We will always be with you, feva en otaim. Ai hod yu in." Her tears spill over and she leans up to kiss my forehead. She lays back down and closes her eyes._

_I can't control my tears. "Ai hod yu in seintaim! I love you too!" I sob out. I can't stop coughing. There's smoke everywhere and I can't breathe. I have to get out. I let go of my mom's body. I quickly take her necklace off of her and put it in my pocket, and with one last look at her I run in search of an exit._

_I find a door that seems to have little flames on the other side. Right next to it is my father's body with 3 bloody holes in him. I squat down, kiss his cheek, take off his trikru ring, and put it in my pocket with my mom's necklace. "Goodbye nontu. Ai hod yu in." I grab both of their duffel bags and my small backpack and open the door. I look back, pull myself together and say, "Goodbye, may we meet again." And run out of the smoky room._

_I jump into the emergency boat and try to see through my remaining tears. I release the emergency boat from the yacht and row away from the flaming vessel. In the distance I see the speedboat of the people who just made me an orphan. Anger starts to replace sadness. I wipe away my tears and start rowing the boat to land. I am alone._

I wake up drenched in sweat and with tears streaming down my face. I sit up, and I reach up to my neck and feel my mothers necklace, and my fathers ring that I added onto the necklace. I feel like i'm gonna puke. I check my watch, it's 6:51. I'm even more exhausted than when I fell asleep. I feel anxious and spazzy. I haven't had a nightmare about that day in a few weeks. I still remember everything about that day, especially the things I don't _want_ to remember.

I get out of bed and take off my sweat-soaked clothes. I rinse myself off using the sink that's on the other side of the room. I normally don't use it due to the fact that I'm scared it's going to explode. I put on the clean pajamas I was too lazy to put on earlier, and climb back in bed. I start singing that Tarzan song, "You'll Be In My Heart" to myself. My parents used to sing it to me when I was little. They saw it in the theater while my mom was pregnant with me, and she said that when she first heard the song, she thought of me. "And you're dad too of course." She would say, but then she would whisper to me, "But you were my first thought." Within a matter of 2 minutes I feel myself falling back asleep.

I wake up again, this time peacefully. I look at my watch, it's almost 4 in the afternoon. God, I've been asleep forever. I really must get up, but this old bed is so comfortable. I've been asleep so long and yet, I feel like I could still sleep for an entire week. I finally get up because the need to pee is growing rapidly.

I grab my hygiene bag and run downstairs, almost falling because I'm in socks, into the bathroom. I wash my face and look at myself in the mirror. I see dark circles under my eyes. No matter how much sleep I get, those bastards never leave my face. On the left side of my face, at the hairline, is a smallish scar. I stare at it. It was my only wound from the day of the fire. My permanent reminder of that day.

I go back upstairs and start unpacking a few things from my backpack and duffel bag that I'll use this weekend. I empty out my backpack completely so that I can take out the things I've acquired throughout this week that I don't need to carry around all the time, such as: the alcohol, food, and dirty clothes. I put back the essentials that I always have in my backpack, the most important and sentimental being my mothers knife. It was the knife in the story I told Clarke about my parents getting into college, the one my grandmother made for my mom when she was young. It was in my mom's duffel bag that I took when escaping the boat fire. I always carry it with me, even when I don't have my backpack.

After dealing with my stuff, I decide to watch a movie. I have an old portable DVD player that I got for my 10th birthday from my parents. I have a fairly extensive movie/tv show collection, for someone who's homeless anyway. I keep them in a box under the floorboards next to my box of books. I pick out "Freedom Writers" and grab the bag of food that Mrs. Kane gave me, and settle onto my bed.

**Monday, November 7, 2016.**

I've been walking since noon and it is currently 4:38. As much as I love my little rest-stop home, it takes forever to get there and back. I promised Niylah that I'd tell her about my date with Clarke today, and I've timed it so that she'll buy me dinner.

A block away from the library I see Raven and Octavia walking together in my direction. Shit. I suck at small talk, mostly because I hate it. I can't just pretend to be busy on my phone because I don't have one. I look into the window of the store I'm walking by hoping they won't notice me or just ignore me. I chance a look at them and accidentally make eye contact with Raven. Fuck, now I have to talk to them. I put on a smile and turn to face them.

Raven yells from a couple yards away. "Hey! Lexa! Fancy seeing you here."

"Hey Raven, hey Octavia. How's your weekend been?"

"It's been pretty great." She says with a grin. "We had to keep Clarke company while you've been gone, even though it interfered with my plans to whisk this one away into my bedroom for the entire weekend."

Octavia glares at her and smacks her arm. Raven just laughs. "She's joking. How was yours? We heard you had some family thing."

I really hate small talk. They sound like they actually want to know though, so that's nice. "It was kinda boring. My parents had a work thing out in Michigan and that's where a lot of our family is. They wanted me to go so we could see all of them and all that."

They both nod. "Well we're gonna go eat at the Dropship Diner, you're more than welcome to join us." Octavia says. Raven nods.

That's nice, but I still only have $10 to my name. I smile. "That's really nice, but I have to meet a friend at the library." I try to say this as sweetly as possible. I really don't want Clarke's best friends to think I'm blowing them off.

They both just nod and say OK with there charming smiles intact. We say our goodbyes and go in opposite directions.

I walk into the familiar library several minutes later. Niylah is talking to some mom with her little girl, so I wave and point to her office. She smiles excitedly and nods. I think she's excited to hear how the date went. She's my oldest friend, so she knows how anti-social I am. I imagine she's very proud of me for just going on a date. I wonder how proud she'll be when I tell her that I now have a girlfriend.

A couple minutes later she comes into her office looking more tired than me. She flops down onto the couch and puts her head on my shoulder. She exhales loudly. "I'm so done with parents Lex. They're so complainy." I laugh. "Shut up, they are! I had this mom just now, she didn't seem to understand the concept of a book being checked out. She was all like 'I checked the website yesterday, and it said that the book was here!' I told her with my best smile, 'Ma'am, that was yesterday, it's been checked out since then.'" I laugh again and she looks up to glare at me. "But she just kept going. She complained on how we should have more than one copy of a book, and didn't listen to me when I told her that we do, it just so happens that they're all checked out at the moment. Ugh! I hate her. She seems like one of those parents who refuses to give her kids vaccines." We both laugh.

A minute later she seems to remember something and sits up so quickly I flinch. She drums on her thigh and squeals. "How was your date?! You never told me."

She's so excited I can't help but feel excited too. I tell her everything. About dinner, the park, how amazing she looked, how her friends tracked her down and made it a double date, and how she asked me to be her girlfriend. She's grinning the entire time. She looks like a proud older sister.

After I'm done talking she sighs happily. "I'm really happy for you Lex, and proud too. Your alone so much, I thought you'd never make another friend besides me, let alone a girlfriend."

I feign hurt. "I have other friends besides you."

She gives me a look. "Do you? Do you really?" I nod. "Name 3."

I roll my eyes. I do have to think about it though. "Clarke, obviously." She nods and tries to hide her laughter. "Ummm. Shit. I guess you're right, but let me keep thinking about this."

She rolls her eyes and a new employee calls Niylah for help. "I'll be back. Keep thinking, but don't hurt yourself Lexa." I flip her off. She laughs her way out of the room.

A couple minutes later I give up. I get up and stick my head out of the office door to tell her that I concede, when I meet sky blue eyes. "Lexa." She says in surprise.

Niylah turns around with excited eyes. She mouths, "Is this her?" She looks over eager.

I don't respond, but I do answer her question when I say, "Clarke, hey."

I walk around the main desk to meet Clarke. "Hey!" She says with a smile, and she gives me a quick kiss. "What are you doing here?" She asks.

I smile. It's only been a couple day, but I think I missed her. "I was just hanging out with the librarian, Niylah. We've been friends since I moved here." I introduce them to each other. They each give the other a polite smile.

"I was just checking out a book. Do you wanna go get something to eat? Oh unless you're still busy with Niylah." There it is, my kryptonite: buying food. I don't want to make her pay again either.

Niylah shakes her head and before I can say anything she says, "She's good. She can just come by after. It'll be less busy here by then, so I won't keep getting called away." 

I look back at Clarke. "I, um, don't have any money on me, and I really don't want you to have to pay for me again."

She shakes her head with a kind smile. "Don't be ridiculous. I was going to offer to pay anyway."

"Are you sure?" I ask her. She simply nods. "OK. I'll say bye to Niylah while you checkout your book." She nods again. I kiss her on the cheek and walk back to Niylah.

"I swear, I am so done with people today." She says to me when the person she was checking out is out of earshot. I laugh.

"Hey, can I leave my backpack here again? I'm coming back later anyway." I ask even though I already know the answer.

She nods. "Of course. I'll be here forever, so come by whenever."

"Thanks." I say as Clarke comes up to the desk with her book.

Niylah does her thing, and then we start walking away together. When we're almost to the door, Niylah yells, "Bye Lex! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" I laugh and wave goodbye as we walk out of the library.

Dinner with Clarke is great. We talked about our weekends, I lied about mine of course; however, now that she knows about my heritage, she has many questions.

"So were you at that village where your parents are from?" She asks.

"No. They prefer not to go unless there's a holiday. We did visit with a few relatives who live in the other-kru, like we do. We also had my aunt surprise us at our hotel, and she lives in the village. It was all pretty great, but nothing exciting really happened."

She asks what feels like a million questions, but it feel like we've only been talking for 5 minutes. "Enough about me though. How was your weekend? I ran into Raven and Octavia when I was walking to the library, and they said y'all hung out all weekend."

She nods. "For a lot of it, but we just watched movies. Oh, and my dad's coming back in a week, so you get to meet him." She sees my wide eyes and laughs. "Only if you want of course, but I think you 2 would get along." I nod.

Is it bad that I don't want to officially meet her parents? I only briefly met her mom, and she seemed very intimidating. I can't even begin to imagine sitting down with them and having them interrogate me about what I want to do with my life. Also, does this mean she expects to meet my parents? Because I can lie and fake my way through a lot of things, but that is one thong I don't thing I could pull off.

I change the subject and shift the focus to her. "So, Clarke. You've heard what feel like my entire life story. What about you? I feel like we're always talking about me."

She grins. "What do you wanna know?"

"Anything. Everything." I reply.

She gives me a small laugh. "Well. My favorite color is blue, my favorite food is mashed potatoes, I hate oranges, and I could spend forever in my pajamas."

I laugh. "What about you, Raven, and Octavia, how did y'all meet?"

"Well Octavia and I met in pre-school. We ate luck together one time and she spilled her juicebox all over her pants. It was hilarious. It looked kinda like she peed, but not really. We were 4 though, so anytime there was liquid anywhere near your crotch, it looked like pee. But anyway, I gave her my jacket to cover up her front and I walked behind her as we went to go find a teacher. Then we were inseparable."

"That's so sweet. You were such a nice toddler." I say.

She grins. "I'm still nice." I give a small laugh. "And Raven we met in 6th grade. She had just moved here after she almost blew up the school." I laugh at the memory of her telling us the story while at the park. "All 3 of us had science together. We thought she was super weird because she was the only one who seemed excited to be learning sciency stuff. So we decided that we wanted her to help us with a project and the rest is history."

We exchange a few more stories and then head out. We walk up to her car and she gently pushes me against her door. I look up at her in surprise. She gets an inch away from my face and says softly, "I never got to give you a real kiss hello." She scans my eyes to get permission. I tilt my head and lean up a bit as a way of saying yes. She kisses me softly at first, and then it turns desperate. Her hands are on my face, with her thumbs caressing my cheekbones. My hands are gripping her jacket at her sides. I feel warm everywhere. I feel content. We are back in our own little bubble and I love it.

Eventually the moment has to end, and we say goodbye. She gets in her car and drives away, and I walk back to the library.

I walk inside and see a note on the desk that says Niylah's in the back dealing with a new shipment of books. I walk back there and see her knee deep in boxes and boxes of books.

"Wow." I say.

She looks up. "I know. I may have over-ordered. It's fine though. I actually really need to concentrate on this, so can you wait in my office? I'll be there in like 20 minutes.

I nod. "Of course."

I walk back and lay down on her office couch. I kick my shoes off and cover myself with the blanket that's on top of the couch because her office is cold. I can't get the image of the way Clarke's eyes light up when she talks about something she loves. Like when she talked about art, and her eyes were shining so very bright. And the way her eyes get intense if we're talking about something serious; like when we were talking about the government. And when she's thinking, she bites her lip and kind of looks off to the side. And how her laugh and her voice sound angelic. And how her smile can light up a room.

These thoughts consume my mind and I slowly drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Nomon - Mom  
> Ste yuj - stay strong  
> feva en otaim - forever and always  
> Ai hod yu in - I love you  
> Nontu - Dad


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello my lovelies. I'm sorry it's been so long. But here's the chapter and I hope you enjoy :)

**Lexa. November 26, 2016**

It's been 3 weeks since Clarke and I started dating. 3 of the best weeks of my life. 3 of the most stressful weeks of my life.

Being with Clarke is fantastic. I feel alive for the first time in a very long time. Being with her, and away from my life, is like breathing after being underwater. However, having to lie when I'm with her is awful. As much as I want to tell her everything, I don't know if I'm ready for her reaction. I try to be a realist, and the reality is that Clarke could potentially have a very negative reaction.

Our weeks together have been amazing even with the stress. She's so incredibly smart, and compassionate. She is an amazing artist, and just a genuinely kind human being. I could listen to her talk for days. Niylah teases me relentlessly. She says she's never seen me so smitten. She also says that Clarke is good for me, and that I seem happier. I feel happier. Anytime I'm with her I feel an overwhelming sense of safety and warmth, kind of what I remember home feeling like.

I do hate the lying. I find it odd because lying is so second nature to me and i rarely ever feel guilt whilst lying. This is probably because I know I'm doing it to protect myself. That's what I'm doing now too though. I'm lying to her in order to protect myself, so why do I always feel so bad?

Anyways. We've been hanging out almost everyday. I'm still terrified of meeting her parents so we usually hang out at other places like the park or the diner, and when nobody's home we'll chill at her house. I am absolutely petrified at the idea of her wanting to meet my parents. I genuinely have no clue what I would say if she asked to meet them. Thankfully we haven't crossed that bridge yet, and we both seem content with how things are for now. However, I'm a realist and I know it can't be this way forever, but I'm just gonna enjoy it. I'm going to pretend that I'm normal.

As I'm walking the school halls, lost in my thoughts I accidentally run into a strong body. I stumble, they don't. I look up to apologize and am met with the kind eyes of Ms. Anya. "S-sorry." I stutter.

I start to walk away but I feel her eyes following me as I turn the corner. She was supposed to start teaching us the self-defense unit weeks ago, but some sort of family emergency made her have to leave town for a bit. I guess she's back. She gives me odd vibes. She seems like a major badass but I have yet to determine if that's good or bad yet.

I'm on my way to lunch with Clarke. About half the time we sit with Raven and Octavia and the other half we sit alone. Today I think it's supposed to be all four of us. The struggle of having to go to the cafeteria for lunch is so real. Sometimes I'll bring a makeshift lunch or Ms. Kane will give me something. Normally I would just not eat lunch or get something from Ms. Kane.

I see Clarke sitting at a table in the corner. She's eating an apple while looking at her phone. I smile. I can't help it, every time I see her I smile. It's corny but I can't help it.

I walk over to her and put my backpack down. The thud of it hitting the ground makes her look up and into my eyes. She smiles instantly and my god it's gorgeous. I lean down and kiss her. Not exactly quickly but what can I say? I'm smitten. I can taste the apple on her mouth and smell her flowery perfume. Anytime I'm with her I feel like all my senses are heightened. Like the world feels how it should.

"Hi baby." Clarke says with her phenomenal grin.

I smile widely at the pet name. "Hey beautiful." I sit down across from her. "Are we alone today?" I ask as I realize there's no Octavia or Raven in sight.

She nods. "They have to do something in the library which means they're working on school stuff, or fooling around somewhere." I laugh. I'm honestly not sure which one I think they're doing.

I managed to scrape together a lunch today so I take all of it out, and by all of it I mean a Gatorade, some weird looking chips, and an old bread roll. Clarke gives me that look again. The look of concern and confusion that she gets anytime I do something that suggests I'm dirt poor and an orphan. Most people don't notice, but of course, Clarke always notices. It's something I love about her, but it's also something I have to be on the lookout for.

Instead of saying anything she just hands me the rest of her apple. I smile kindly and say, "I'm not going to eat your food Clarke." I put it back on her side. She always tries to buy me food or just give me some of her own. I really hate taking it from her though.

She rolls her eyes but with a subtle smile. "You should eat something with substance. You always eat junk food."

"That's because junk food is the best tasting food." It's also the cheapest.

She gives a small laugh. "Come on, just eat the apple babe. I have plenty of food and I like sharing, especially with you." She gives me her greatest smile and places the apple back into my hand. I accept defeat and bite the gloriously juicy apple.

After a little while I mention wanting to start looking for a job. "I just want some money of my own ya know?" I say to Clarke.

Clarke nods. "Totally. I've been thinking about it to. I'm tired of living off my parents. I mean I'll probably live off of them for awhile, but I don't want them to the only thing that's supporting me for the rest of my life. So I figure that I might as well start saving now."

I nod. I really need a job, but generally you need an address to put on the job application. That's just where the problem begins. It's the 21st century so they probably want a phone number and email to. All of these things I don't have. Maybe I could get Niylah to hire me. Why haven't I thought of this before?

I get snapped back to reality by Clarke saying we should go job hunting together. I'm not entirely sure what the smartest thing to say is, so I just nod. She smiles enthusiastically. "I don't even know where to start."

Suddenly we are interrupted by a slight boom and then the fire alarm and sprinklers went off. I look over at Clarke who is already calling Raven with a scowl. She notices me looking and stares into my eyes. I can see her face relax and I can feel my own stress quiet down. Raven doesn't answer which leaves us to the conclusion that she was definitely somehow involved.

I pack up my lunch and put on my backpack. I look over at the chaotic lunchroom to see confused teachers trying to gather and organize a large panicked herd of teenagers. There are so many kids in here. I feel a hand on my own. I look over at Clarke, "I really hate fires." She leans up and gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek and squeezes my hand. I take a deep breath and we start walking towards the herd to try and get to the doors.

"This is absolute chaos." Clarke says with an exasperated sigh.

I really really hate fire. The only fire I am OK with is from a lighter because it's small and I can control it. But even this possibility of a fire in the school is causing me major anxiety. I'm struggling to think straight. I have to focus. I have to think. I breathe deep so that my lungs are overflowing with air. I exhale and attempt to do what I do best: overthink.

Clarke notices my state of panic and pulls me closer to her. "Are you OK? You look spazzed." I smile at her word choice. Despite the smile I shake my head. Amidst all the noise and mayhem a clear thought manages to push itself into the front of my brain. The kitchen.

I pull Clarke into the now empty kitchen. Before she can ask I say, "I couldn't deal with that, I'm sorry." She looks at me with kind, and understanding eyes. I can't help but feel as though, maybe I can tell her the truth. Not the first time I've felt this way about her, I'll admit.

She hesitantly pulls me into a hug. "I've got you." It's all she says. It's all she needs to say. I melt in her embrace. My heart beats so rapidly, and yet, I feel calm. I feel content. That is, until I remember the possibility of the fire upstairs.

"There's a back door in here. I can't deal with all that, it gives me really bad anxiety and sometimes panic attacks." Why am I telling her all this? I could've stopped with after I said that I couldn't deal.

I lead her into the back where we find the back door. I feel relief flood my body as Clarke opens the door. We exit the building to see a small fenced in area where the dumpster is. "Shit. Well there's bound to be a gate here right?" Clarke asks. I nod and we start searching.

"Well," I say, "I found the gate, but it's locked." I sigh and head back to the door. I pull it but nothing happens. I pull even harder but the damn thing won't budge. "Goddammit!"

"Shit. What the hell are we supposed to do now?" She grabs her phone. "You've got to be kidding me! My phone's dead." I groan and sit down on the cold concrete.

"Come here." I say and pat the spot next to me. Clarke sits down and lays her head on my shoulder. "If I'm gonna be stuck here I'm just glad it's with you."

She looks up at me with a grin. "Dork." She replies. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Anything." I respond simply.

"Why were you so freaked out back there? Was it the fire, or the chaos, or both?"

How can I explain this? I can't say my parents were murdered in a fire while I was left there with them. Then she'll realize I've been lying to her. What good would come of that? I do really trust her though. I don't know I've never felt like this before. I don't know what to do.

"Clarke, you trust me right?' She nods. "And you like me right?"

She smiles. "I think I might love you." My heart stops. She looks up at me. "Why? What's wrong?" She sits up and puts both of her hands on mine. "You can tell me anything."

For the first time in my life, I feel like I can. "I have something to tell you. Promise me though that you'll let me finish." She nods. I begin. "I've been lying to you. Not just you, everyone. For the past 7 years of my life I've been lying to everyone I've ever met. But right now, with you, I'm tired of lying, and I feel like I can tell you the whole truth." She looks puzzled but her hands are still on mine. I continue. "When I was 10 years old my parents were murdered. They were brilliant scientists, but that's why they died. They were studying a scientific anomaly: me. I am, what my people call, a natblida. I have strength and smarts that I don't have to work for, I'm fast and I can survive in circumstances that I shouldn't be able to, I heal extraordinarily quickly and my blood is black." Clarke looks confused and sad, but not totally disbelieving. I take my pocket knife out of my backpack and prick my finger. Out seeps my black blood. Clarke gasps with wide eyes. "Told you. Anyways. People like me aren't common and the only recorded people like me have been Trigedakru. Historically we've been leaders, they called them commanders. My parents wanted to understand what made the natblida special and why. I wasn't like a test monkey or anything like that. They would just take a little blood every once in a while to use in their research. But someone didn't like it, and wanted them to stop. We were on our boat one day, just spending time together, when we heard people. We were inside the little living room type area with music playing, so we heard them too late. They came in, so many large men, and said, 'We told you to stop and you didn't.' Then they hit me over the head and I blacked out. I still have the scar where they busted it open. I guess they didn't really wanna shoot a little girl so instead they just left me, bleeding on the floor after they shot my parents and set the boat on fire. I woke up to the smoky air and tripped over my mothers dying body. I heard her last words and then watched as the life left her body. I took her treasured necklace and looked for escape. I found a door, but I also found my dad dead. I took his ring and our bags and got on the little emergency canoe type boat. The only reason I survived was because I'm natblida, luckily the guys didn't know that. Only my parents did. So I rowed away to safety without anyone knowing. According to the world I'm dead. Well, presumed dead. I was home schooled so nobody would notice me. I waited a couple days in the woods and went home when I thought it was safe. I knew my parents would have wanted me safe and not at the hands of strangers, and since everyone thought I was dead anyways I just stayed there awhile. The police came a few times but we had a fancy security system so I had plenty of time to hide. Eventually I knew I had to leave, so I traveled for a bit before I settled on here. I live on park benches and playgrounds and rest stops. I eat stolen food or food that people give me. The only person who knows I'm homeless is Mrs, Kane the lunch lady. But you're the only one that I've ever told everything to. This is who I am, a homeless orphan with black blood."

I look into Clarke's eyes. I managed to keep my eyes from watering but I don't know how much longer that'll last. Her hands are still on mine, squeezing tight. She lets out a shaky breath. "You're so goddamn strong. I don't know how you've done this for so long." She has tears starting to form.

"So you're not mad at me?"

She looks so confused. "Why would I be mad? You lied to survive. I love you. That's not gonna change just because I know this about you."

Now it's my turn for confusion and wide eyes. She said she loves me. I smile soft. "I thought you said you might love me." I say questioningly.

She smiles and shakes her head. "Yeah well, I didn't wanna scare you off. Now I know how tough you are."

I grin and tackle her to the ground. I kiss her and try to tell her everything I feel through the kiss. I don't know how long it lasts. But when we break apart, our foreheads pressed against each other, I say the words I've felt since I first talked to her. "I love you." We both smile widely. I start kissing her again. Life is good.

Several minutes later we are interrupted by the loudspeaker. "All classes have been canceled for the rest of the week effective immediately. If you do not have a way home please come to the flagpole."

What the hell did Raven do? "Do you think Raven's in trouble?" I ask.

"Always. The real question is how we're gonna get out of this smelly place." Oh yeah. I forgot about that.

I look around for any hint of a way out of here. I got it. I stand up and reach out my hand. "Come on. I think I can get us out of here." Clarke simply accepts my hand and gets up. "I'm gonna climb onto these giant dumpsters and jump the fence. I'll try to unlock the gate, but you might have to jump the fence to."

"That gate is ginormous. How the hell do you expect to jump down from that?"

I smile and kiss her quickly. "I got skills." She just laughs. "Now help me onto this dumpster." She nods and gives me a boost. "I want you up here to just in case I can't get the gate open."

"OK, but I'm still scared that you're gonna hurt yourself." She says concerned. It's nice that she cares so much.

"I'll be fine. Now come on, I'll pull you up." Now that we're both on top of the dumpster, I climb on top of the huge fence so that I'm sitting on top, ready to jump. I kiss Clarke one last time and say, "Geronimo." and jump. I hit the ground hard, but I feel alright. I look up to see Clarke peering over the fence concerned. "I'm OK!" I yell. "Toss me my backpack." She does. I catch and start looking for something to pick the lock with. It's a weird looking lock and I don't think I have anything that'll open it. Shit. I really didn't want Clarke to have to jump.

"Babe!" She yells. "Do I have to jump?"

"Yeah looks like. I don't want you to get hurt though."

"I should be fine. You were."

"Yeah but I'm natblida. It takes a lot to hurt me." That gives me an idea. A stupid one, but it should work. "OK I'm gonna try and catch you. Worst case scenario is I don't and you land on me, but even then I should be fine. I've been hit with worse."

"Umm are you sure?" I nod. She sighs. "OK but I'm still scared that I'm gonna hurt you." I laugh.

She sits on top of the fence the way that I did. "Ready?" I yell. She shakes her head. "You'll be fine. Trust me." I open my arms, ready to catch her. She screams and jumps. I catch her but I stumble and we end up on the concrete.

"Damn. You actually caught me." I laugh.

"I told you babe, skills." We both laugh and get up.

"So. Where do you wanna go?" She asks me.

"My version of home." I say. I already told her everything, might as well keep going.

"OK. Where is that?" She asks. I take her hand and we start walking to her car.

"17 miles away. A rest stop near the edge of town. I'll show you."

The car ride isn't filled with many questions. I think she's saving them for my rest stop. We just talk like we've been talking for the past few weeks. Almost like nothing was different. Almost.

We finally get here. The semi-big rest stop that has served as my home for close to 6 years now. "Is this it?" Clarke asks. I nod shyly. I've never brought anyone here.

"This is a rest stop I stumbled upon when I was first coming here. Rest stops have saved my life and this one is the one I call my own. Before we go inside, I wanna show you something." I grab her hand and lead her to the tallest, palest tree.

"What is this?" She asks me, pointing to the carving I made so many years ago.

I run my hand across it. "The day my parents died. March 7th, 2009. I carved it here so I always knew where my stuff was."

There are tears in her eyes. She seems to swallow a lump in her throat and says, "Where's your stuff?"

Instead of answering, I simply kneel down and quickly dig out my large duffel bag. I almost grab her hand, but It's covered in dirt so I put it back down to my side. "Come on. Let's go inside."

I show her the lobby area and I lead her to the vending machines. "OK. These vending machines are my best friends." She giggles. "Seriously! They give me free shit." She looks at them inquisitively. Her giggle is so cute, I'll never get over it. I start to demonstrate. "I didn't know that I could get free food until about 2 years ago. After I spent 2 weeks eating nothing but peanut butter and Pop-tarts, I was desperate enough to try breaking into these things. Much to my pleasure I learned that the people who fill this thing tend to leave it unlocked because It's behind this gate and nobody thinks to try and open it. I can't steal a lot or else they'll notice and then I'll be cut off completely." I yank violently on the gate, and due to it's age, it opens with only one pull. Then, I open up the soda machine first and take out 2 Cokes and a Mountain Dew. I close that and open up the vending machine adjacent to it. I can't even remember the last time I stole food from here. Clarke and Ms. Kane having been feeding me so regularly that I don't need to take anything. "What'll ya have babe?" I ask. She points to the small bag of Hot Cheetos. I grab that and 3 other small snacks and close the machine back up.

I take Clarke upstairs to my little home and plop down on the bed. "So, this is it. Your tiny makeshift home." I nod and pat the spot next to me. I can sense her want to talk about my situation. I still can't believe I actually told her everything. I don't regret it. I trust Clarke and I love her.

"So. What do you think?" I ask vaguely. I'm still scared of her answer. She said she loves me, but that doesn't mean she won't have a negative reaction after seeing everything. 

After a moment she answers. "I just don't understand how you do this. I don't think I would last a week on my own now, let alone 7 years since you were 10." I can hear the pain in her voice. I think it hurts her to have to see me in such a shit life. Personally I feel grateful to have my skills, and I know people have life a hell of a lot worse than I do. I cuddle up into her side, my head on her chest and her arm around my body. "Do you want me to help you?" She asks quietly, as if she's trying not to offend me.

"What do you mean help?" I ask. She could mean anything really. She might mean me moving in with her, or calling child services, or buying me stuff. I honestly don't know which one she means.

"Well, I just don't want you suffering. I would suggest moving in with me, but there's no way my mom would go for it. I don't really know, but I wanna help you Lexa. If that means buying you some stuff then I'l do it. If I have to drive you places then consider me your chauffeur. I know that I can't do a whole lot, but whatever I can do, I will." I feel tears stinging my eyes.

I sit up a little and look her in the eyes. I'm fighting tears and by the looks of it, so is she. "I love you. So much." I say as earnestly as possible. I feel a tear escape my eyes. I've never felt so much love for someone like this. All I can do is kiss her. I try to tell her everything I feel through that kiss. All the pain, all the happiness. All the love.

We break apart and Clarke gently wipes the tears from my eyes with her thumbs. We lay back down. I can feel her heartbeat beating against my ear. It soothes me so much so that I feel myself drifting off to sleep. By the way that her heart is slowing down, I think she's falling asleep to. I sit up and grab the blanket at the end of the bed. Clarke groans at the loss of contact. I smile and lay back down while covering us with the blanket.

I don't know what time it is, nor do I care. Right now all I can think about is being wrapped up in a sleeping Clarke's arms. I nuzzle my face against her, trying to get more comfortable. Clarke sighs quietly in her sleep making me smile. I think about Clarke and smile as I let sleep take over my body. I've never felt so happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Any thoughts and feelings about Lexa telling Clarke the truth? I didn't intend on it happening this quickly, I thought it would be another chapter or 2, but as I was writing this it just felt right. So thank you to those of you still reading! I am continuing with this story it just always takes me awhile to figure out what I wanna write in the chapter. I love all of you! Thank You!


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